Skip to content

Balance due

Al-Khobar, Saudi Arabia 2009

A thin veil of fog still drifted past my thinking and functioning brain, protecting me from everyday events that were no longer fathomable. I bit my lap and scratched my chin holding back a flood of tears that would inevitably turn to sobbing. Choking and gasping breaths had been quieted and normal respiratory functions returned. A single tear dripped down my face landing awkwardly just beneath my nose.  I could not let the barrier down, the one that held back uncontrollable desperation. It did no good to cry and fueled a rage that had now become unyielding. I wiped my face and pulled my clothes together in a tidy fashion, spitting on a tattered sleeve, pausing before I opened the door and silently drifted away.

Idaho 2015

A solid and unwavering resolve that had been steadfast until his advances had become aggressive and unrelenting now teetered.  It had been 10 days since his arrival and simple kindness interspersed with cold and calculating manipulation was somehow noticeable as I watched his eyes. I had never seen this thinly shrouded phenomena that reeled me in and then knocked me down repeatedly until now. I smiled and laughed nervously, keeping him at arm’s length while still offering a measure of appeasement. He edged nearer, placing his hands just over my shoulders and onto the wall, his body pressing closer with each movement. A part of me wanted to give in and surrender to a sick and familiar reality that kept the relative peace for days, hours or possibly only minutes. He spoke quietly and reminded me that I was the mother of his nine children, the key to all that he held dear in this earthly existence. I scratched my chin and cheek inching closer to the bathroom door, almost forgetting the previous violent encounters in Al-Khobar and Riyadh.

I knew that submission would once again fuel the never ending cycle and would also mean a short lived peace. The choice had never been mine to make and had always hinged solely on survival. But in the present I felt a surging power and with it the reality of his words that left an indelible mark, “Lynn, you are only good for one thing“.  I entered the bathroom and slammed the door,  knowing full well a price of some kind would be held in the balance.

 

homes on the palouse

I am here to serve you with all of your real estate needs

lynz real cooking

Author blogger mom of nine

Fly 'n Things

A random flight through some of my extraordinary flying adventures

Merry Motherhood

Musings of a first-time mommy

Live Out Crazy

Shreya Jindal

Life of Hayley

Making the most of my twenties

Fictionista

Flash Fiction / Musings Of Darnell Cureton

for a rainy day

Photography & Lifestyle.

Loveyashian

Love in the air...you feel that!😍

Beth Warstadt

It is no small thing to offer respite to a weary soul.

Luna

Every now and then my head is racing with thoughts so I put pen to paper

Bernadine’s Corner

Recipes * Lifestyle

M.B. HENRY

Following the Path to the Past

KaylaAnn

Write, Drink Tea, Live Life, Repeat

Popsicle Society

It's all about you

CoffeeMamma

Just a Mom that loves her family, coffee & blog.

Stephen Page

Author: The Timbre of Sand, Still Dandelions, A Ranch Bordering the Salty River. Alum: Palomar College, Columbia University, Bennington College. Follow on twitter @SmpageSteve on Instagram @smpagemoria on Facebook @steven.page.1481

Horses Dirt and Motherhood

Vicki Reinke: Mom, Grandma, Farmer, Author

The Moral Traveller

Morality | Love | Travels

The Solivagant Writer

The world is my playground; the pen, my friend

No Plate Like Home

Easy, family recipes for the home cook!

Carries Book Reviews

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

A non artist

Just a girl with some blogs

What do you mean ?

“Every human life contains a potential. It that potential is not fulfilled, that life was wasted.” ― C.G. Jung

Ramblings of a Writer

Living the Path of Life

%d bloggers like this: