Ask not for a moonlit fancy
Do not look among the stars
For super heroes walk among us
Always stalwart never far
No cape of glory trails behind him
His honor spreads throughout the land
A rush of power true and mighty
Holding tightly to her hand
2016- look at us now
Her smile had faded and stringy hair had been cut into one even line, but it was obvious she still existed. No modern styles were allowed and like the children, she would be summoned to sit in his chair and wait for scissors to chop and shape until this task was complete. Her skin had wrinkled and bits of grey washed through a dirty blonde but there was no mistaking, it was really her. A red shirt hung loosely over her chest and spots of bleach dotted her pants. The space was noticeable but only with a wide smile which could easily be avoided. It had been years, even decades since I really looked at her in the mirror.
His job ended and once again he would stay at home for 12 months looking for the perfect employment opportunity. Offers came and went but none were at the standard that he had become accustomed to. He held a U.S. passport which entitled him to benefits and a salary that were in line with his status. His frustration built with each passing day as he slept till noon, drank tea with friends and walked through the house making random inspections.
The balance that was kept when he was working had now come crashing down and although money had been saved and was plentiful, it was not to be touched. The boys were at University, children needed immunizations and our teeter totter balance could not be disrupted. Eating and drinking had become difficult and avoiding the fractured tooth that hung precariously was no longer possible. It wiggled and moved sending shooting pain along a rugged path that ended only to be agitated more frequently. One last warning was given and an offer to see the dentist. He was of course the best provider and always thought of his family first. I nodded my head in agreement, handing him the pliers and a tissue. He placed his hand firmly on my head and gripped the jagged piece of tooth ripping it loose.
The past few months have been spent working on my book, sticking to the usual routine and spending a great deal of time with Osama, Jacki and the precious ones. They have made several visits to our home and we have been there as well.
In January Jacki surprised Osama with a night out for his birthday and a sleep away at a posh hotel. We were called upon to spend the night and watch our three adorable babies. It was great fun and we were thrilled to be a part of the surprise. The kids were here this past weekend as well and as usual it was lovely chaos!
One of the favorite activities at ma’s house is a ride around in the desk chair.
Chair for watching t.v
Aunts love to play dress up!
Princess Alayna enjoys a quiet moment
Blessings Love Family Blessings Love Family Blessings Love Family Blessings
And if I had a thousand coins
A small wish heart of mine
To sprinkle all the wrong with star dust
Sprigs of tender blossoms crown
Silken words to touch your senses
Days reflect a golden shine
Build a structure tight and sturdy
No broken pieces left behind
A soft refrain of gentle memories
Oh babe in arms of mine
on the way to the mall
Events of the night before slowly drifted back, the crunch of dead cockroaches under foot, leaving the airport and walking into a rush of hot blustery air and driving aimlessly through the same neighborhood numerous times. Each and every street looked the same, an open garbage dumpster positioned in a vacant lot, empty pop cans, plastic bags and remnants of shwarma sandwiches all lay strewn in piles that scattered the street. Ferule cats snuck in and out of the make shift landfill, eyes glowing in the dark, skulking stealthy, looking more like predators than harmless felines. Workers stood rag and bucket in hand, dressed in ratty pants and shirts, scarves draped around their nose and mouth to filter out the dust and sand that swirled endlessly. They waved, flagging down cars in hopes of making a few riyals. Saudi boys kicked footballs, stirring up dust, their thobes ( long garment worn by Saudi men) hiked up and tucked haphazardly into their surwals (pants underneath a thobe) making it easier to maneuver during a routine game.
It appeared that each and every block was interchangeable and he had no more knowledge of this area than we did. A long line of cement walls with metal gates that enclosed tan colored villas looked to be one unit. He swerved in and out of traffic, looping around and back again to the same neighborhoods, stopping to peer momentarily at the vehicles lined up near the curb. An exasperated look crossed his face and sighs of irritation gave way to words uttered under his breath. After several attempts he finally smiled and said “Abu Abudllah’s truck”(downstairs neighbor and owner of the villa). He parked the vehicle and exited to open the large rusty gate that stood in front of yet another row of impenetrable walls enclosing block like cement homes.
The van that had been borrowed from a Saudi friend was fully equipped with a/c, luxury seats and a small television. He pulled out into the street and then backed into the parking area. An empty carport stood before us, hundreds of dead cockroaches lay on their backs, evidence of a recent fumigation in preparation for our arrival. One lone palm tree waved in the intermittent breeze struggling to grow among the concrete of this enclosure. I smiled and sucked down a wave of panic, thinking to myself that surely this was not the place we would call home. After all, I had paid my dues, had been the perfect and dutiful wife for ten years, living with bits and pieces of old furniture that Saudis left behind when returning home, had converted to a new religion and followed it to the letter. I turned away from my old life, singing jazz, pictures and friends. I told my parents that no gifts were allowed for holidays and did not resist when he announced a chosen name for each and every newborn. It was a slow current that drifted away from autonomy and veered toward total lack of control. But this move to Saudi was the ultimate sacrifice and I was sure this time things would be different.
Foof has made these delicious bar cookies for as long as I can remember. They are so good freshly baked but also remain delicious when cooled. Of course in our household they never make it too long past freshly baked!
Ingredients for brownie batter
- 3/4 cup butter
- 1 cup white sugar
- 1 cup brown sugar
- 3 eggs
- 2 1/2 cups flour
- 2 1/2 tsp. baking powder
- 1/2 tsp. salt
- 1/3 cup cocoa
- 1 cup mini m and m’s
- 1 cup semi sweet chocolate chips
Directions for recipe:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees
Use a 9×15 baking pan.
- Mix butter and sugars until fluffy, add eggs and mix well.
- Add flour, baking powder and salt to butter mixture and mix well.
- Divide the batter in two equal halves.
- Mix cocoa powder with one half of the batter.
- In the other half of batter mix 1 pack of plain M&Ms and 1 cup of chocolate chips.
- Spread chocolate half of dough onto pan, dot with the candy dough. Spread as well as you can.
- Sprinkle remaining candy on top. Bake for 30 minutes or until done.
- Remove from oven and let cool.
I love you I love you I love you
The perfect reflection of womankind
Molded from clay and desire
I love you I love you I love you
A worldy devotion transcribed in time
To walk with the angels on high
I love you I love you I love you
If only no words graced replendent lips
In vain all that passion ignites
If only If only If only
The shimmer and shine had not dulled your eyes
Worthiness gone in an instant
Sweep up your troubles and mop broken dreams
Fallen beguiled and bewildered