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The bench

For those who have followed my story it has been a long time but here is a new addition.  If you have not read my story you can read other instalments found under, flashback love-true story.

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Riyadh, June 2003

I walked back into the store, carrying little Dee who was now fussy and tired. The last splash of water had been dripped into her mouth but now she insisted on full hydration. She was a small girl for her 2 plus years, tiny features, dark brown eyes and olive skin gave her the appearance of a doll like figure. A smile crossed her lips as my arms held her tight. The clerk glanced our way with a curious and questioning expression and the usual worries swirled through my mind. I scanned the aisles and picked up my pace searching for a chair or bench inside the comfort of the air conditioned store. We had exited and reentered the premises numerous times in the same fashion, searching for water or a place to take cover from temperatures that hovered at 105 degrees.

I finally returned to the bench just outside the swooshing doors hoping that it was still vacant. I could not bare the idea of being mistaken for a beggar, being escorted to the door and possibly to the street. The two hour mark approached and anger welled up inside me, sending the inevitable tears that came with standard humiliation. He had insisted that I accompany him to pick up his mail. He would drop me at a nearby store to browse and he was sure the exercise would do me good. It would take him fifteen or twenty minutes and a quick look through racks of clothing would be interesting, even fun. A steady drip drip of sweat had now pooled, leaving my face and scarf wet. The bench that had offered comfort, now seemed hard and heavy as if marks were being sewn into my legs and thighs. A twenty minute wait had stretched into hours, leaving me to wonder if I had misunderstood instructions.

I scanned the Main Street for his vehicle just as I had for the previous seconds, minutes and hours and finally it appeared. I wiped my eyes, straightened my scarf and prepared to stand. The weight of a tenth pregnancy-overdue by two weeks had pushed me to my physical limit.  I mustered a fading smile, reminiscent of years gone by and hoisted my daughter into the car.

 

52 Comments Post a comment
  1. Like is the only option I have – but this is not pleasant.

    Liked by 2 people

    February 25, 2020
    • Thanks for reading Derrick

      Liked by 1 person

      February 25, 2020
      • It does not improve with the knowledge that this stress and pain no longer plays a part in your life. I do hope he is paying for the grief he caused you. …yet like those of his ilk he would deny this ever happened, ” your wrong, that never happened, how could you say that? ” 💜💜💜💜💜

        Liked by 1 person

        February 25, 2020
        • Yes he used to say that often, leaving me confused and feeling like I was crazy! He also told me that I wanted these things until I believed I did! Thank you for your insight willow❣️❣️❣️

          Like

          February 26, 2020
  2. Oh wow Lynn that is so sad! It still amazes me how you and your children survived all that!

    Liked by 2 people

    February 25, 2020
  3. Julianne Lugo #

    It’s amazing how you and the children survived. But for the Grace of God. Would love for you to write regarding your present life and lives of your children and grandchildren. May God truly Bless you Lynn.

    Liked by 2 people

    February 25, 2020
  4. I don’t know how you did it Lynn. You’re a brave soul.
    Leslie xoxo

    Liked by 2 people

    February 25, 2020
  5. Lynn, your emotions come through so clearly in your writing. His emotional torture of making you fully dependent but having to depend on him is so painful. I know your parents’ prayers got you through all the abuse.

    It is amazing that you are now a published author and your children living independently.

    Thank you for sharing. Hugs and love!

    Liked by 2 people

    February 25, 2020
  6. Carmen #

    Lynn, the contrast to your life now must fill you with wonder. Good for you, to have survived all that! Remarkable stamina! Xx

    Liked by 2 people

    February 25, 2020
    • Thank you Carmen xx how are you doing?

      Like

      February 25, 2020
      • Carmen #

        Pretty good – looks like you have been doing brilliantly! Happy to read about your new cookbook and hope you have great sales. ..I’ll be in the States in April and am hoping to pick it up.

        Liked by 1 person

        February 25, 2020
  7. It must still hurt Lynn, even after all these years! Hugs to you.

    Liked by 2 people

    February 25, 2020
  8. And from there you have created a beautiful life Lynn. The differences are so stark. But the person, you, you were growing stronger every day.

    Liked by 2 people

    February 25, 2020
  9. It’s difficult t o read of such neglect Lyn what an amazing survivor you are. Your outcome from all of that abuse is nothing short of miraculous.

    Liked by 2 people

    February 25, 2020
    • Thank you so much Barb! This blog and my special friends like you have made it possible for me to feel safe to speak 😘❣️

      Liked by 1 person

      February 25, 2020
  10. But for grace…hugs Lynn ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

    February 25, 2020
  11. Lynn, you describe the sad so well, brining is alongside you on that bench. My heart goes out to you but happy you are in such a much better place now. I can well imagine it seems like another lifetime, long long ago. You are a natural writer, you know … writing from your heart straight into ours. Xx

    Liked by 2 people

    February 26, 2020
  12. What amazing endurance you had, Lynn!

    Liked by 2 people

    February 26, 2020
  13. Lynn, you had the strength to make it through that day. And the enormous strength it took to leave him. Now you have created for yourself a new love-filled life with your family, your cooking and your newly published book.

    Liked by 2 people

    February 26, 2020
  14. Your writings would make a great movie. The title would be a grasping kind. And how interesting that international women’s groups would love your stories. Women in film are a cinch!🤔☕️☕️🤔

    Liked by 2 people

    February 26, 2020
  15. krc #

    It helps to write it all out, doesn’t it?

    Here’s to your continued healing, dear.

    Liked by 1 person

    February 26, 2020
  16. Another powerful story from you, Lynn. Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

    February 26, 2020
  17. Again, you are a strong, powerful woman. I admire your strength! I am sooooo happy your home and getting on with your life! Your love of your family shows and I know they all love you! Another wonderful addition to your story. Glad your getting it all out and on paper so you can tuck it away in a book and not your soul. Love you sister!! HugsXXXXXkat

    Liked by 1 person

    March 2, 2020

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