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First year home-2009

This is the story of our first year back in America, other installments can be found here:

https://lynzrealcooking.com/first-year-home-2/first-year-home/

https://lynzrealcooking.com/first-year-home-2/first-year-home-2009/

https://lynzrealcooking.com/2018/11/16/first-year-2009-our-story/

 

Idaho 2009

A sharp buzzing pressed in my ear waking me from a restless sleep. It was time to rouse one of the girls, spoon coffee into a filter and pour a pot of water into the reservoir.  Thoughts of school and the day before held a nagging place in my gutt. The sad little figure that lay sprawled in the grass amongst students and helpers remained fixed in my memory. I had overlooked the possibility that this was my youngest child and instead a mask of denial coated my brain leaving it in an unrealistic fog. But after his sister sat beside him taking her place in a stance of not so much concern but possibly comfort, it was clear that things would not be as easy as I had hoped. My focus turned to the thought that there were only two more weeks of the paper route and then a new routine would take shape; no more nights spent wrapping bundles, sorting orders and jumping out to deliver to each and every home. Cooking for the co-op, cleaning once a week at a building and the odd sub job assured me that we could keep afloat and each time mom and dad visited they unloaded boxes of bread, croissants, peanut butter, canned vegetables and chicken, candy, school snacks and staples. Provisions were hauled into the apartment, stacked on the kitchen floor and put into cupboards. I watched as hot coffee dripped into the carafe and pushed away the idea that I was truly at fault but still I couldn’t help but wonder if leaving Saudi was for the best. I heard his words ring through my ears triggering shooting pangs of guilt to my core. “You are torturing me and the children with your stubborn and unhappy ways, you have become one of those women that I hate”

 

42 Comments Post a comment
  1. As always Lynn, I am amazed at your resilience and determination that has resulted in your fantastic family success today.

    Liked by 1 person

    November 30, 2018
  2. I read this & in my mind, I do a comparable to present life you now speak about in your writings. Perseverance, courage & most of all love has brought you to the beautiful life you have created for yourself & your beloved family. Bravo my friend!

    Liked by 2 people

    November 30, 2018
  3. OH Lynn! What an inspiration you are, you pulled through and because of your determination you and your precious family can enjoy such a good life now! Hugs and love!

    Liked by 2 people

    November 30, 2018
  4. Lynn, although things were difficult, you did not give up and were there for your children. The support of your parents and your overcoming of adversity helped to bond your family together rather than them splitting apart. The warmth you and your family share today are well earned rewards. xoxo

    Liked by 2 people

    November 30, 2018
  5. How far you have come!!

    Liked by 1 person

    November 30, 2018
  6. Wush you many more great Christmas’s with you lovely family. You deaerve it!

    Liked by 1 person

    November 30, 2018
  7. Understandable that you had doubts at the time but my, have you proved since then that you were taking the right decision!

    Liked by 1 person

    November 30, 2018
  8. Now you and your children have hopes of a wonderful future Lynn.
    Leslie ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    November 30, 2018
  9. Thank goodness you found the strength to become one of those women he hates.

    Liked by 2 people

    November 30, 2018
  10. I think the doubts of your decision didn’t last long until you all got settled and breathed the air of liberty again.

    Liked by 1 person

    November 30, 2018
  11. That says a lot about him Lynn. That he hates a woman who wants to be treated kindly, with respect and dignity. Good for you for being brave in the face of the fear and doubts. You are worth it.

    Liked by 1 person

    November 30, 2018
  12. Abusers are adept at transferring guilt

    Liked by 1 person

    December 1, 2018
  13. Obvioiusly, he didn’t see he was the one that was torturing because of his ego and poor attitude. You did the right thing by coming home.

    Liked by 1 person

    December 1, 2018
  14. Oh Lynn, I am so glad that you and your children left Saudi and came back to the states! You really have come far and are still growing!! xoxoxoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    December 1, 2018
  15. I’ll take that as a good sign that you became one of those women he hates, Lynn, because it’s way better than being one of those women he loves to abuse. I’m so glad you had your parents there to love you and your children up. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    December 1, 2018
    • You are so very right Diana! I have to think of it that way from now on. I heard it so much and tried to avoid being one of those women but yes I am glad I am!

      Liked by 1 person

      December 1, 2018
  16. Your courage never wavered but I can imagine your moments of thinking maybe you had made a mistake, as any loving mother might. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    December 1, 2018
  17. A wise decision Lynn. You have traveled far.

    Liked by 1 person

    December 2, 2018
  18. I hope you know your a Rock Star!! Youi have rocked your world back to where it is suppose to be. You are one of the most strongest woman I know. Your words, I am sure of this, is bringing solace to many woman, giving them the strength they need to stand up for themselves and be the women they were meant to be. Especially those that have an a control freak to push past!!! I am so happy that your finding your place in your life, your in charge, no one can tell you anything different, I am woman, hear me roar. Best 6 words ever said out loud !! Love you, love your will, love your strength, love how you have made me a better women for having met you. Keep writing, woman all over the world need to hear your story my friend. XXXXXXXXsisters at heart

    Liked by 1 person

    December 3, 2018
  19. Your perseverance was well worth it.

    Liked by 1 person

    December 6, 2018

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