Spokane 1982
She was a small town girl whose father and mother were first generation Americans. She was raised in a tiny town in Idaho where Daddy worked at the brickyard and Mama stayed home tending to children. But now, she (my mother) was the “boss” and her firm yet impartial demeanor had gotten her far and proved to be an example of what was expected in our household.
Headlights cast a dim glow on the staircase that lead to the kitchen and mom’s heels could be heard as the car door shut. Excitement paired with nerves took hold as I braced myself to face her. She had been my mentor and best friend and never failed when advice and comfort were required. But this was somehow different and I knew that mother would be surveying him with a most forbidding inspection, leaving nothing undiscovered.
Keys jangled in the lock and a frozen stance was held in place upon her entry. He smiled and graciously stood before her, an unassuming and yet confident young man. She shook his hand and then excused herself to change into more suitable clothing for a relaxing evening at home. His level of respect drew me closer and it was clear he knew how important family life was to me and it seemed he shared the same values.
We situated ourselves in the living room on the top floor just outside her bedroom door. Large white couches, end tables and side chairs had been carefully placed throughout the oddly shaped room. The ceiling slanted until it reached a point that ended in a large skylight jutting out into a triangular shape. A fireplace was the focal point of this space and was finished in white lava rock and a marble ledge.
He crossed his legs and kept a fair distance between us, only acknowledging me when he was spoken to. A curious lack of physical affection was eventually chalked up to his culture and a desire to be considerate in front of my parents. It was as if he fit in to any and all situations and easily molded himself into the perfect and appropriate companion. This quality was especially admirable to an animated, gum chomping girl who felt she was somehow overly chatty, and at times inadvertently too flashy.
You draw us into the scene and leave us feeling that he was a decent sort. Just as you did at the time. How wrong we can be. How easily manipulated by a psychopathic liar intent on capturing his prey through deception in order to trap you into a caged life that almost finished you. Your mother though holds so many clues to the strength that you found to bear the incarceration and to carry you through the subsequent escape and to slowly slowly put yourself back together and to move forward, bearing the scars you carry, but nonetheless managing to take those little steps day by day to real freedom. Where you are now, caught up in the excitement of the upcoming wedding, is testimony to an amazing woman with an amazing gene-pool and the strongest of spirits xoxo
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A perfect response that I could not better!
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You are so strong yourself my friend and have passed that on to your daughters as well. You really said it all and I thank you so much Fiona!! xoxoxo So blessed
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Thank you Lynn …. I treasure that remark. As we both know, there are dark days when doubt creeps in and having you, my amazing friend, saying what you say, is exactly the fillip I needed today – blessed indeed xoxo
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xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
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I read with my breath held to see whether you were saying your mother found him out for what he was. i was waiting for that.
He was putting on an act and thus no one could see the mask he wore.
I know it is your life you are writing about and how difficult each word must have been to put down on paper.
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Thank you so much Susie! I appreciate your support so much xoxo
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This is a good set up for what comes next in the chapter. Looking forward to the next installment!
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Thanks Deborah! xo
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Oh, what a well crafted scene,Lynn. I liked your description of the oddly shaped living room and how everything was well placed to cover it’s flaws. A great hint and contrast to him. Making an appearance that was false and distancing himself from you. A hint of what was yet to come!
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Thanks so very much xxx
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you set the scene beautifully…full of suspense (K)
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Thanks K!
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I know the outcome of who he is. But to go backwards and see his manipulation through the lens of hindsite shows ugliness under it’s mask.
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Yes so true. Thanks Colleen
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The perfect man and son-in-law… but we already know better…
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yes! xo
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💖
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So clever!
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yes xo
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Indeed
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once again your writing and accounting of this “situation” blows me away. such a gift of writing you have been given to share this with the world in a way that can help you and help others! Lynn – I am so humbled by you and your life and your gifts. Your purpose and destiny are so crystal clear. And your happiness now is such a ray of hope for so many. You are such a hero!!!
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Thank you so much Jodi!! You are so sweet and have stuck by me all this time! Thank you so much for this gift of your friendship xxx
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❤️
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We are so easily deceived, Lynn. How were you to know?
Leslie
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So true, thanks Leslie xx
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🙂 xx
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Have you ever asked your mom if she could see what you couldn’t about him?? Just curious, mothers seem to have that sixth sense when it comes to their children. Or was he that good that he was able to fool all around him of his deep rooted control issues? Again just curious. I am sure if my mother had met mine before I married him, she would of seen the asshole I couldn’t see. I love your writing, its so honest and you bring us right into the room with you. XXXkat
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“It was as if he fit into any and all situations and easily molded himself into the perfect and appropriate companion.” Yes, Lynn, that’s exactly what they do. Perhaps your mother felt something was off, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he was successful at molding himself to meet her expectations, too. Abusers are masters at it – until it’s too late. This is chilling, and I’m so glad you are sharing and healing.
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Where you wrote how he could mold himself into the perfect and appropriate companion says it all.
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And to think he was already the monster he became. I just breathe a sigh of relief whenever I read an instalment of how it was, because now I know you and your family are safe and well and happy. You are a miracle Lyn.
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Beautifully written, as always. He knew how to groom
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Thank you Derrick
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Lynz,
Life is constantly changing. The decisions we make are not always right (in spite of the feeling that they may have been right at the time) and the roads that we travel throughout our life are not always perfect. The most important things is that as humans we learn from our mistakes and when the road we once traveled is no longer the optimum avenue we are not afraid to travel down another that may or may not be a better choice. In your case, you certainly learned a lot about life and others through your previous experience and what’s important is that you had the strength and insight to get off that wrong road previously chosen and to seek a more optimal course which proved to be a great decision !
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You are so kind Gary! And wise. It took me awhile to get back on course that is for sure. But yes I have learned and am still unraveling what happened. I need to understand I guess so that I can move on. Thanks so much x
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Life is so fragile, beautifully written Lynn.
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Oh, what an actor he was! Mother’s seem to have an instinct about people and it’s usually spot on!
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Your writing is awesome! I wish I could write as well as you! You set the scenes so well!! xoxoxo
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You are tooooo kind and amazing yourself xoxoxoxo
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You’re so sweet, Lynn! xoxox
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xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo much love!
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xoxoxo xoxoxox much love back! 😊💞
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xoxoxoxoxoxo
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So well written – staying in the present moment and not releasing a hint of what is yet to come. I sense your inner healing is advancing and your writing is simply excellent. Lynn, you are a gifted woman in many ways. ❤
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You are so very kind dear Ina! I wish I could sit and have a cup of coffee or tea with you! You are an amazing writer. I have to say that yes I am advancing in my healing! Thank you
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Lynn, I would like to share a cup of coffee with you.
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That would be great!
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Quite an actor he was.
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Yes he was
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