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My story- liar liar

Al-Khobar 2008

Words that were not allowed in our vocabulary made up a list that changed and shifted and seemed somehow ambiguous. Anything disrespectful or prideful was quickly suppressed and marked as ungodly and even blasphemous.  The usage of “ok” might be seen as objectionable if given in a solemn or what might be construed as flippant manner.  But now these two words rang out in bare rooms and empty walls, signaling hostility and confusion.

He had given me the rewards voucher months before, instructing me to use it on whatever gave me pleasure or was needed. Every so often he would bring the subject into conversation and question me, wondering what had become of the certificate. Each time I would pause and ask him what it was to be used for and he would respond that it was up to me.  It held its position tucked neatly away in the side pocket of a diaper bag until holidays approached and an idea shuffled through my mind.

Gifts had been forbidden in our household until a few years prior when Osama questioned the validity of this unspoken rule and finally convinced him to supply the funds for holiday presents.  It was always a stretch and we knew to pick and choose wisely; practical, inexpensive and exchangeable. A modest sum of money was secured and then doled out to each member of the household. But recently everything had changed and with the older boys away at University things had returned to a veto on the exchange of gifts.

A chuckle came from his mouth but was indistinguishable as levity, anger or mere frustration. Our vehicle swerved between cars recklessly and gained speed only to come to a quick and abrupt pause when necessary. The box in question sat precariously on a lap in the front seat, shuffling from side to side. The mall entrance could be seen in the back window and now a day of shopping, food and frivolity seemed reckless and arrogant. A foolish view of reality and a blip into the real world had marred my judgement and remnants of lunch were taken home instead of dumped prior to exiting the boundaries between home and mall.

In an attempt to pacify his anger I explained that I had used my money from tutoring for a day of holiday gift shopping and purchased pizza with the voucher.  I looked at the box that sat on the kitchen counter and with it came the realization that once again I had failed to understand him. He insisted on seeing the voucher although he knew it had already been used. The usual rules would have been followed and no words of our trip to the mall, food or fun would have been mentioned.  But this time somehow I clicked back into the real world and having been pushed to have fun, I did so.

A firm stance was not a sign of defiance on my part but imperative to keep legs from giving way. He held the drill in one hand securing nails for curtain fasteners, waving it intermittently to emphasize each syllable. YOU ARE A LIAR A THIEF A calm demeanor overtook him when grabbing hooks and drill bits from the children’s hands. When fury timed out he spoke of taking them to dinner, offering numerous choices including favorite American restaurants that were most often seen as unfavorable. He gently pinched cheeks, smiled and inquired as to their choice of eateries. The creaky borrowed ladder shook and waved upon a return to the diatribe that started upon entrance to the villa. His tirade peaked and waned, eventually subsiding after piles of endless fury had been depleted.  Each child looked wary of his words but also knew their role in this ongoing escalation. The project was complete and he insisted on taking at least two children out for dinner.

 

81 Comments Post a comment
  1. Dear Lynz, this is the worst kind of mental abuse. I’m so sorry you had to endure it. ♥️🌹

    Liked by 3 people

    April 27, 2018
  2. The more I read, the more incensed I become Lynn. Thank goodness it is now behind you and that you have the support and love of your children, and grandchildren, surrounding you.
    Hugs.

    Liked by 3 people

    April 27, 2018
  3. What a tyrant! The tide was turning though with the older boys beginning to speak out and call him out on stuff.

    Liked by 3 people

    April 27, 2018
  4. In the end they get theirs even if we don’t see it

    Liked by 2 people

    April 27, 2018
  5. Oh! This hurts so much to read 😁

    Liked by 1 person

    April 27, 2018
  6. How hard it must have been to be afraid of pleasurable things such as gifts. K x

    Liked by 2 people

    April 27, 2018
  7. Lynn, may your wounds heal from all those ugly words and actions. Love and hugs! XOXO

    Liked by 1 person

    April 27, 2018
  8. It almost made me dizzy to read this, Lynn. I was impossible to follow his arbitrary rules and expectations that spun like a whirlwind. You failed to understand him because he made no sense! Ack! My heart goes out to you that you had to endure this. It’s a pleasure to look at the smiling faces in the sidebar of your blog and know that this is your life now. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    April 27, 2018
  9. Walking on eggshells all those years… I am so happy all this abuse is behind you all. 🌼

    Liked by 1 person

    April 27, 2018
  10. He really is from another planet isn’t he!! What an asshat! I hope that someday, someone, somewhere treats him with all he has treated you with. He deserves it ten-fold! Love you sister, head held high, you are a free woman, and you are home!! XXkat

    Liked by 1 person

    April 27, 2018
  11. Alice #

    Monster! Monster! Monster! He is the thief! He stole so much from you and his children!
    Thank God you were there for your children and saved them from him! How can a man treat a woman and his children, that he is supposed to love , like he treated you and the kids!!! And there is no remorse!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    April 27, 2018
  12. Poor you and your poor children. I don’t think I would have survived your life and I am a survivor.

    Liked by 1 person

    April 27, 2018
  13. Oh dear Lynn….. what you have endured and survived from!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    April 27, 2018
  14. This all is so wild and unpredictable! I usually could read the temperature of one of my exes who was quite angry, turning “on a dime.” I wasn’t allowed maternity hosiery, so many varicose veins. I shouldn’t indulge children with Dairy Queen, purchase ice cream at grocery store and then scoop out for the children. Etc, etcetera! I was able to walk a fine thread of a line, a tightrope. Only twice has this kind of hurricane storm. This got us into counseling,one whole year of his trying to charm our female family counselor. She could not have been more on my side if I had paid her! The counseling was to be able to say to his family, “I tried.” Ha!

    Liked by 1 person

    April 27, 2018
  15. In other words: You, Lynn, are a Saint! xoxo 💗
    So glad this is over and also happy you are sharing this story. Itwill help many to make the decision to leave. Hugs!! 🤗

    Liked by 1 person

    April 27, 2018
  16. You have survived some of the worst kind of abuse Lyn. Hats off to you . Such frightening experiences, never knowing which way things are going to go, but fearing the worst all the time. Awful, just awful. X

    Liked by 1 person

    April 27, 2018
  17. Awful times! I am so glad you strive on with your kids to overcome💕🙏

    Liked by 1 person

    April 27, 2018
  18. It’s as if you lived on a roller coaster that careened in and out of a volcano. Hope the burn marks are beginning to fade.

    Liked by 1 person

    April 27, 2018
  19. So completely alien madness

    Liked by 1 person

    April 28, 2018
  20. Hey Lynn, I’m hoping your writing about this insanity is helping to purge the energy and power they once held for you. Sometimes it is helpful to vomit physically, verbally, and any other way to clear your soul. Great post.

    Liked by 1 person

    April 28, 2018
  21. I don’t know how you endured his abusive treatment. You are one courageous lady!

    Liked by 1 person

    April 28, 2018
  22. So sad you and your children had to endure this but also so sad that they think this is right😀

    Liked by 1 person

    April 28, 2018
  23. Wow Lynn, the things you had to endure! So glad you are away from him and are safe and happy with your children and grandchildren here in the states! You have come a long way! xoxoxoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    April 28, 2018
  24. Nothing could ever be the right answer…he is clearly mentally ill. That you and your children have not only survived but thrived is a testament to the strength of your spirit. You hid it, but you did not let it go. (K)

    Liked by 1 person

    April 28, 2018
  25. Steam coming out of my ears!!

    Liked by 1 person

    April 28, 2018
  26. HE IS SIMPLY A MADMAN. I’m so glad that you freed yourself.

    Like

    April 29, 2018
  27. Sending you my love as always, you brave, amazing woman xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    April 29, 2018
  28. I found this very disturbing to read but I expect you and the children found it so much more horrendously scary to live through. With some people you can’t do anything to please them. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

    April 30, 2018
  29. No matter what you bought, it would have been wrong. It makes me mad how he baited you like that. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

    April 30, 2018
  30. Lynz, every time I read a post my ♥ bleed and brake once again! I am unable to comprehend and just wish you and your children and grandkids the very very best! You are the most incredible women I have come across!! God Bless you and your family.

    Liked by 1 person

    April 30, 2018
  31. This was difficult to read. We should not have to endure such things in our lives, but it happens. And your strength and determination have conquered. All the best Lynz. 🙂 #SeniorSalon

    Liked by 1 person

    May 1, 2018
  32. I can’t even imagine how you managed to survive such abuse, Lynz… Kudos on the courage it must have taken to escape from such a madman.

    Liked by 1 person

    May 1, 2018
  33. He sure gets a kick out of setting you up. That seems to be his only pleasure.

    Liked by 1 person

    May 10, 2018
  34. I’m so happy all of this is over for you now. thank you for sharing this. ♥️

    Liked by 1 person

    June 1, 2018

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