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Full circle

 

2005

I pulled up ragged black pants and entered the hallway looking for any signs of movement. The children had gone to play and laughter could be heard from the downstairs window. I peeked outside and saw the girls pushing Heme on a large blue bike, back and forth around the tiny housing area. A simple road looped from the parking lot around the tiny compound, passing by the pool and villa. Dishes were still stacked in the sink and bits of egg shell lay strewn on the counter. I dipped a sponge in soapy water and wiped the counters then moved onto sweeping and clearing the table. Sun peeked through the shades that he had purchased from the as is section. They were plain, neat and sterile, the perfect mirror of our existence. Several pictures had been placed on the wall before a return to the old rules and still stood as a testament of hope for the future.  It had been over a decade since we arrived to Riyadh and it seemed as if things had come full circle.

His refusal to pay rent in the previous living space was met with water and phone services being shut off and eventually eviction. He would not accept substandard living and until management agreed to renovate our unit, rent would be withheld. After our trip to drop the boys at University we shifted our residence for the sixth time and arrived once again to an empty home.  Boxes lined the walls and jet leg kept us on a schedule of night time wakefulness. Pad sitting for the floor had been purchased and enabled us to sleep with partial comfort. This villa was equipped with AC,  refrigerator and stove. Although little had changed there had been small improvements from our dismal beginnings and every little bit did count.

I hurried my pace and washed dishes clanking and rinsing, knowing that he would soon emerge to chat and inspect. This was his third time being unemployed and would last a full 12 months just as the other two times had. He walked through the hall and into the living room where a couch, love seat and dining room table had been positioned. Every few days he made his way to a large store and looked through remnants of broken or discontinued items. A rickety clanking from the communal shopping cart could be heard as he carted a table, chairs and couch, making several trips back and forth to the car. We stood in the bare room helping him piece together whatever he had procured all the while relieved to have another addition to this stark environment.

I was happy to have the boys away from life in Riyadh but missed their presence and the shift from a family of 11 to one of 9 had proved difficult. They were my two best friends and confidantes but I could not longer stand to have them stifled, living in a place where they were not welcome, foreigners in every way. I was reminded daily of my betrayal and my utter lack of respect when I insisted on sending his boys away to the United States. His words could be heard each time any problem cropped up, inquiring if I was happy that I had thrown his boys away into the garbage.

 

73 Comments Post a comment
  1. Wow! To withhold rent and electricity and water was have been difficult on you and the family living in those conditions.

    Liked by 3 people

    March 23, 2018
  2. Carmen #

    Lynn, I sometimes wonder if your children read your blog. You see, I had no kind of father – although I certainly had someone who biologically ‘contributed’ – and your children didn’t either. I wonder what they must think, reading these entries. I know they lived it but I hope they realize that parents should want the very best for their children and it is obvious that you certainly did and still do.
    Keep writing – your story should be shared and celebrated. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    March 23, 2018
    • Thank you Carmen! They dont read it as far as I know! My oldest daughter does! My son told me he lived it and so he cant stand to read it but all of the kids support me speaking out! Wow so you can understand

      Liked by 1 person

      March 23, 2018
  3. How you got from there to the gallery at the bottom of this post is an immense tribute to you and to them

    Liked by 4 people

    March 23, 2018
  4. I know that you never believed that you were throwing your boys away, I know you were saving them. your the most giving and loving mother I know. Great story, I am just so sorry that you had to endure this mans wrath against you for so long, but I must say you raised a wonderful group of children ! Best mama bear around. I am so happy you are doing well and just keep telling yourself you are in charge of your life and no onw, and I mean no one, especially him, can take that from you. Never let anyone step on your happiness ever again. Love all the pictures. XXXXXXXkat

    Liked by 2 people

    March 23, 2018
  5. Lynn, your strength in the midst of great challenges, shines through in your writing. Love how you were always advocating for your children at school with physical punishment, getting them sent to college in the USA or doing above and beyond every day, despite the obstacles. Keep writing!!!! XOXO

    Liked by 1 person

    March 23, 2018
  6. I’m so happy that you and your family are safe now.

    Liked by 1 person

    March 23, 2018
  7. You all look so happy, and my how the family has grown! I’m so glad you are where you are now.

    Liked by 1 person

    March 23, 2018
  8. I’m so glad you “threw your boys away,” Lynn. It seems like it was the start of the break that would eventually free you too. The pictures of your smiling children and grandchildren say it all. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    March 23, 2018
  9. You made so many hard choices during such difficult times. Your children seem to be doing really well now and that’s a huge testament to you, dear Lynn ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    March 23, 2018
  10. The contrast between the photos is staggering. You are to be commended for getting through such a terrible situation and making sure your children were safe.

    Liked by 1 person

    March 23, 2018
  11. Thanks again for sharing Lynn. How is the booking coming along?

    Liked by 1 person

    March 23, 2018
  12. You did a wonderful job withe the children, dispite your husband.💜

    Liked by 1 person

    March 23, 2018
  13. I’m so glad the full circle brought you and your brood back to the USA and out of his clutches. The best aspect is how the family has held together so strongly behind you—and not him.

    Liked by 1 person

    March 23, 2018
  14. As always, the beautiful family pictures prove what an amazing job you have done Lynn.

    Liked by 1 person

    March 23, 2018
  15. I never ceased to be amazed by your story, and the great resilience you have shown. Such a beautiful family, and they seem very supportive of you. Good luck with your continued writings.

    Liked by 1 person

    March 23, 2018
  16. You are so strong and so very brave. I admire your courage and fortitude! 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    March 23, 2018
  17. You’re amazing, Lynn. I don’t know how you endured his hatefulness.

    Liked by 1 person

    March 24, 2018
  18. I seethe reading about him.

    But look at the faces of your fabulous family…. there’s comfort in that.

    Liked by 1 person

    March 24, 2018
  19. Oh my gosh He sounds like a monster! I am so glad you and the kids are away from him! xoxoxoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    March 24, 2018
  20. Just seeing your family together like that so happy and beautiful fills me with warm fuzzies! You are a remarkable woman, and so glad your book is coming along!! xoxoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    March 24, 2018
  21. The photos at the end really punctuate the truth xo

    Liked by 1 person

    March 24, 2018
  22. Lynn, you are an amazing life force for your children. I’m glad you have these pictures to show the family you have created for them, and yourself. ❤

    Like

    March 24, 2018
  23. So pleased that life is now behind you. Your photo’s are so amazing Lynn. xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    March 26, 2018
  24. Such harsh words that sear into your soul. How lucky your boys were to go to America for their education.

    Liked by 1 person

    March 26, 2018
  25. Such an amazingly strong, and loving family you have around you now.
    A testament to you as an awesome and wonderful mother.
    xx

    Liked by 1 person

    March 26, 2018
  26. The happy pictures of times today are a definite indication of how far you’ve come from those bad days.

    Liked by 1 person

    March 27, 2018
  27. You went beyond full circle like your life is out on a different planet of Happiness!! 💐 🙏

    Like

    March 28, 2018
  28. “Throwing your boys to the garbage” was the best thing you did.

    Liked by 1 person

    April 2, 2018
  29. So good to see your posts again! I don’t know what happened,but I was wondering why I hadn’t seen anything from you. Apparently WordPress messed up and I wasn’t seeing your posts.
    Anyway You are one Amazing Mom!! The things you did for your children even when you knew you would suffer for it! You put them first! (((HUGS))) to you and so glad that you are writing your story. I know it will inspire many!

    Liked by 1 person

    April 8, 2018

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