Riyadh 2006
His words were clear and yet somehow as I dangled between two worlds they meant nothing. In the real and tangible world where grass grew, trees towered and animals walked free, it almost seemed like a game. I played the role of God fearing wife and mother, never stepping over the line. These putrid and abhorrent scenes of humiliation had never surfaced in front of mom and dad. I made sure that everything was “just so” and nothing was amiss on each and every visit. Any concerns over what my parents might say or do were instinctively met with distraction, jibber jabber and a narrow glance that acknowledged my awareness of any potential problem. A much needed household item, groceries that they purchased and words that might be spoken all topped the list of possible offenses and would be scrutinized during hours of discussion in his room. It was a balance that teetered on the edge of sanity and one that was fiercely guarded.
His voice grew in volume with each question until fury reached its boiling point. I cupped the phone and slid from pad seating on the floor hoping his words were muffled and inaudible. I smiled and tugged at my pants pulling ragged seams together as I walked into the hall, leaving dad to read his paper and sip coffee. Each time he raised his voice I walked further down the hall, inching my way towards the stairs. The coffee maker steamed and puffed as it processed another full pot. Dad laughed loudly and sighed as crumpled pages were finally stacked in a pile.
I looked to the porch where mom sat basking in the sun, a far cry from winter in Washington. I waved at her and quickly turned towards the stairs not wanting to draw attention. His voice was persistent and anger built with every question that he posed. I reached the top of the staircase and swiftly made my way to the bathroom. A new level of fear peaked as his words now seemed unreal. Cursing in our home was prohibited and even Geez, shoot and darn were seen as obscene. I sat near the toilet on the cold bare floor staring at bathtub tiles, listening to words that signaled yet another escalation, “These are my children, I am the father, they are shit, nothing, nothing, do you understand?”
It’s clear to your readers, dear Lynn, just who is shit and who is nothing. I’m sure you have realized it, too.
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Thank you Carmen x
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Boy, what you’ve overcome. Your children, too. I know it left scars, but you have triumphed…
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Thank you so much Pam!
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Horrific experience Lynz.
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Thank you so much for reading Holly xx
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Lynn, don’t know if you remember me, Linda Smith. I write The Village Smith and we “talked” a couple of times via comments. I said then you should write a book. I think that even more so now. You are one of the best writers I know (read). And believe me, I do not say that lightly. I would venture to say that your experiences coupled with your cooking expertise would be a best seller. I would pay money for such a book.
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You are so very kind! I am working in it nowxx
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Wonderful! Let me know when it is published. You deserve this.
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Thanks so very much dear Linda!So good to hear from you xx
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Such a pity that HE never understood!
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I agree
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Lynn, I think you have done an awesome job. ‘O)
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Thank you so much!
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You deserve to hear it, Lynn. :O)
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You are so kind
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Sad to be filled with that much hatred which is poison in the body. Nobody deserves his treatment and his boyish tantrums.
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Thank you so much Joseph!
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You’re welcome
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What a psychopath! Hugs to you Lynn.
Leslie ❤
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Thanks Leslie xxxx
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🙂
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This is so tough to read. I am so glad you are away fron there. You and the kids are mich better for it. Keep chahing forward….much more living and joy ahead!
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Thanks dear Gary xx
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Oh Lynn, you have had to bear so much.
But look at you now, with your loving children and grandchildren: such a strong, caring and capable woman.
xx
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Thank you that is so sweet
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So very welcome.
xx
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Wow, there’s a shit in the story, but it is NOT the children or you! He’s a monster!.
What you endured is awful. I’m so glad you’re free of him now!
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Thank you
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He revelled in what he thought was his power over you. Now you can revel in your freedom.
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So true Peggy! Thank you
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I’m so glad you’re writing a book. It will help countless women who are walking the dangerous tightrope that you faced on a daily basis. Bless you.
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Thanks Carole xx
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I am so sorry all this happened to you, sweet Lynn. ❤ ❤ ❤
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You are so sweet Cathy ❤️
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Terrifying existence, indeed
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Thanks for reading derrick x
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I am so glad you are away from that monster and safe! xoxoxoxo
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xoxoxoxoxo
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Wow! He’s beyond a narcissist. Seems he had to constantly prove to himself he was in control due to his low self-esteem.
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That is so true! I think you are right!
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Such a control freak, it almost makes me feel sorry for him, almost!! The ahole I was married to hated my family, he refused to let my mother stay at our house alone. He was so two faced, in front of her he would hug her and treat her like his own mother, but in the quiet of out room, his BS would spill out in whispers and spittle he was so mad.. We had 2 cars and when my mother came he took both of them to his work claiming one was broke down, I begged him to leave me a car so I could take my mom around, but no, we had no reason to be away from the house!! I called BS on this and took the bus and my keys to his job and drove the car away, I really thought he was going to bust a blood vessel…I told my mom that he called and got the car running so I would go get it. We had a wonderful time driving around where she used to live and enjoying her time with us. He didn’t take the car again, but life was never the same after that…Took me 4 more years before I left. What a life living with a control freak who feels he is superior to all of the human race. I feel for you my friend, sooooo happy your free to do as you want now. ITs your life and only you can make the decisions…..your doing great sister….XXXkat
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Wow abusers use the same tactics! He would buy them gifts, hugs kisses but then behind closed doors he was furious!! Yes when you dare to cross them things are never the same!! Love ya sis xxxx
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They really are all the same…!!!
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They are!
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What a Horrible experience.
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Thanks for reading
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grrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!
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❤️😘😘
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Yes, all abusers, control freaks, bastards what ever you call them, all say do and act the same..
Made from the same defective mold. Go Sis write this book you are my hero.💜💜💜
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Thank you my sweet sister! I will try my best! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
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And I know you will win 💜
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❤️❤️❤️
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You can never unhear those things, can you?
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Nope
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Bravo to you that you are now expelling his vomitous words. Blessings on the new life you are building for you and your children. ❤
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Thank you so much ❤️
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Every time I read a new installment I see you and your children, now. And am grateful.
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Me too ❤️
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As always, I am so glad you are here now, Lynn. Thinking of you.
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Thank you sarah ❤️❤️
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Lynz, this must be so hard to recall, write down but not close to what you endured… you write with control, clarity and I’m not sure how you retain such calm in your words. Well done for overcoming and being able to share. Hugs xxx
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Thank you hugs back xx
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It is like spying through a crack in the door at a woman bound, gagged, covered from head to toe and being whipped. The creeping dread I feel whenever I see you have posted another installment and yet the compulsion to read your words make me even more convinced that your book, when it is out, will be a winner. A winner that gives hope to the victims of the most depraved abuse that you managed to escape and that they may too, a book that opens the eyes of the ignorant masses to the horrors that can be taking place in the name of culture, religion, belief on this planet of ours, maybe even in the same town as ours. Yours, Lynn is a frightful story and your writing it, I hope is catharsis for you and may prove the trigger to escape for others xxx
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Thanks so much Fiona. I hope for the same thing. If I had known one person when I was in this situation who could give me hope for the future or tell me that it could be different it would have helped me. I wish that I could do that for even one person. xoxoxoxo
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Different circumstances but the same sentiment and I promise you, you have paid that debt over and over … with or without your book. These posts are extraordinarily powerful to a bystander and I don’t doubt that they effect people in similar circumstances to those you found yourself in profoundly even if they don’t reveal who they are. Xxx
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Thanks so much dearest xoxoxo
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😢
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Wow! Your writing is getting very powerful.
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Thank you Bernadette! Xxx
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Hi Lynz, This is my first read of your post, and as mentioned above, I immediately could figure out what you meant and who you wrote about.
WOW, you’re an awesome, strong and courageous women and mother of your children.
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Thank you so much for reading and for your words! You are so kind.
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♥ Please if you can, I will greatly appreciate it if you can share and spread the news that the Salon doors re-opened and hopefully your followers will also come and participate. You can share it on any social media. Thanks in advance
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I will share this tomorrow and am so happy you are hosting us on Senior Salon! Thank you so much!
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Ok I shared it now haha
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Thanks sooooooooooo much Lynz, thanks very much
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No problem, thank you! Also shared on twitter
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WOW – thanks again. What’s your handle there
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You are at least lucky to have the talent to write so well. It is cleansing and therapeutic. Carry on, you’re doing great, Lynn!
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Thanks Marina xx
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So painful, Lynn. Your story is riveting and your strength inspiring. What a journey to write this down and see how far you’ve come. Hugs. ❤
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Amazing how HE set the rules about the cursing, yet he couldn’t even abide by them. HE must be a very sad person. xxx
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I agree xxx
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So glad that you and your children are long past that life of horror, Lynz. ❤ Blessings and love…
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Thank you Bette!
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Lynn, reading your story gave me hope when my daughter was in a similar situation.
Thank you!!
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Thank you for telling me!
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You’re welcome.
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[…] Cold hard floor shared by Lynz […]
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Have you written a book? I think you should xx
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I am working on it x
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excellent xx
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