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Broken-life story

 

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This story has been running through my mind and I am finally able to write it. 

2010

Duffle bags, carryalls and backpacks lay strewn on the basement floor packed and ready for our trip to the Oregon coast. A refrigerator for cold drinks, a microwave and full closet were extra amenities that made this area homey and self-contained. Bed sheets were crisp and perfectly made complete with hospital corners. A fragrant bouquet infused with tones of unknown annuals drifted through the room from hanging baskets just outside our door. Trips back from Saudi were spent here, up the mile long dirt road that wound and curved all the way to the house on the hill.  Since our move back we spent many weekends and holidays in this very room, laughing and feeling the guarded freedom that we now enjoyed.  This house held more than comfort and memories, it reminded me of the person that I had once been.

Sweaty fingers grasped the phone, holding the receiver, pushing buttons and finally disconnecting it from the wall. His words were clear, “You are a liar, a thief” and now it seemed as if his rages had permeated even this safe place and had leaked over to my mother and father. I heard my dad’s voice loud and bold “DO NOT CALL AGAIN” and then the phone was disconnected. I scurried around pushing bags, picking up clothing, pacing past each child, counting heads. It was 1 a.m., I surveyed the darkened room and stood ready, on alert thinking of a plan to pack and head back home. The urge to flee was muted by my mother’s calm yet firm reminders that we needed to get sleep and the vacation would go on as scheduled.

She paced back and forth on the grass just outside the slider, a pensive look could be seen on her face as she fiddled with a shirt sleeve. I surveyed the room, plastic buckets and shovels, treats stacked neatly on the dream bed mom had fashioned for me and the youngest children. I stood frozen staring at the childlike figure that walked back and forth through the early spring foliage. She held the grace and fury of a woman on a mission and she would not be dissuaded by fear and rancor.

Numerous voicemails containing threats and warnings instructed us to leave my parents’ home and return to the little apartment. He cautioned that he would be coming to take his children away if they went anywhere without his express permission. We were not allowed to have a vacation and no one would enjoy the company of his children if he was not along.  I held the phone listening to each word repeatedly until her soft slender hands touched mine and removed it from my shaking fingers.

She shut the door and waited for the next call, walking past the window through the trees and bushes. An hour passed and her exasperated and shaken expression turned to sadness. The usual shame and guilt took hold realizing that my daughter now had to manage crazy that had no limits. I collected myself and lightly moved beside her as she listened to his raging voice, “YES I want your mother dead so I can take my children back to Saudi, yes dead!”

Her eyes welled up with tears, but numbness and strength coursed through my brain. It was finally spoken, heard and real and meant that maybe I was not the unbalanced and spoiled woman he had been “burdened” with.

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Summer 2017

 

 

 

111 Comments Post a comment
  1. Alice #

    You were married to a monster! Lynn you are a survivor! The obstacles you have overcome is amazing. Keep writing!!!

    Liked by 2 people

    October 14, 2017
    • Thanks dear Alice! this was a hard one admitting he told us that and continued to after that! I think that is part of my overall anxiety!

      Liked by 2 people

      October 14, 2017
      • You THINK? Good lord, there would be something seriously wrong with you if you were NOT negatively affected by words and actions like his.

        I was happy to read how your father responded to the calls from that hate-filled man. I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been for your parents to have to stand by and watch this man continue to abuse you and your children.

        Keep saying to yourSELF what you would say to one of your own children who had been married to someone like your ex. That way lies healing.
        xx,
        mgh
        (Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMORE dot com)
        ADD/EFD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder
        “It takes a village to transform a world!

        Liked by 1 person

        October 16, 2017
  2. That must have been very hard to hear your father say that also. I am glad your relations with everyone got better.

    Liked by 1 person

    October 14, 2017
  3. Sometimes I just want to hug you!

    Liked by 1 person

    October 14, 2017
  4. Your courage is inspiring Lynn. Hugs to you. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    October 14, 2017
  5. Thanks for sharing your courage Lynn. Sending continued strength your way.

    Liked by 1 person

    October 14, 2017
  6. This just makes me so mad at him – it’s no wonder things can still be difficult. These are not actions or words that are easily overcome.

    Liked by 1 person

    October 14, 2017
    • He wrote me a month later asking God to destroy me and any of my supporters, not sure who that would have been back then?

      Like

      October 14, 2017
      • Just awful! And he probably had such sentiments about anyone who would have sympathized with your situation.

        Liked by 1 person

        October 14, 2017
      • It sounds like he has no idea of who God really is or he wouldn’t have such hate in his heart. Jehovah God that I serve is a God of Love and Grace and one day He will be a God of justice also!
        “:Jesus said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind, This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 22:37-40 God bless you, Lynz

        Liked by 1 person

        October 14, 2017
  7. That monster doesn’t deserve to ever see his kids again. He has never done you and your kids anything else than hurt and heartbreak.
    I’m happy, that your parents was there for all of you, while this ugly acting happened, dear Lynn.
    Much love and many hugs, sister ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    October 14, 2017
  8. My God, Lynn, as some said here: You are a survivor. What a psycho terror! I am glad, he uncovered his real being himself! I am glad you’ve had the support of your family eventually!

    Liked by 2 people

    October 14, 2017
    • Thanks so much Erika. I feel this is where allot of my fear lies to be honest. I thought about it the past few days and felt ashamed to write it for these past two years. But, something made me write and just say it! Love you dear Erika xoxo

      Liked by 2 people

      October 14, 2017
      • I am glad you did and got it off your chest. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Absolutely nothing!! It was part of the change which made it even clearer that this change was overdue!
        Much, much love to you too, dear Lynn 💖

        Liked by 1 person

        October 15, 2017
  9. Lynn, he’s a psychopath. You’re lucky to get out alive.
    Leslie

    Liked by 2 people

    October 14, 2017
  10. Oh my Lynn…he was and still is such an ASS….so glad you can get it out and on paper and then just leave it there…it was then, now is now…..your doing great…..love the pictures, how quick our babies grow…..XXXXkat

    Liked by 2 people

    October 14, 2017
  11. I always go back to your family photos now, and marvel that you have brought them all up so brilliantly, despite all your difficulties with so horrible a man. Love and hugs Lynn.xoxo

    Liked by 2 people

    October 14, 2017
  12. Oh, Lynn, I’m so glad you have your parents.

    Liked by 1 person

    October 14, 2017
  13. I’m so glad you all got out and you’re able to begin to get it all out by writing and sharing your story. You’re gaining more and more confidence and strength within yourself everyday. That young woman you once were is still there, she’s emerging again! 🙂

    xx

    Liked by 1 person

    October 14, 2017
  14. “maybe I was not the unbalanced and spoiled woman he had been “burdened” with.” No maybe, YOU WERE NOT! He was the unbalanced man, you were “burdened” with. Your parents are saints! Christine

    Liked by 2 people

    October 14, 2017
  15. Wow, Lynn, I am trembling just reading this, What amazing courage you have and God Bless your wonderful parents and children. He may be the father of the children but he is the unbalanced monster and thank God you are free of him.

    Liked by 1 person

    October 14, 2017
  16. Oh! Course you are not Lynn 💜💜

    Liked by 1 person

    October 14, 2017
  17. That was hard to read, and I understand why you held it back so long. Having your daughter and parents witness the horror of this might have been close to the limit for you. So glad you got your voice and can share it here. We are all behind you. Your parents are a God-send. Like so many, I admire your strength and endurance. You and your family deserve a happy life. Hugs to you, Lynn.

    Liked by 2 people

    October 14, 2017
    • Thanks so much Van! I appreciate your words so much. This was the beginning of his threats and indications that he wanted me to be destroyed. This is also why I have not divorced, just staying still for now. Thanks for the kind words and hugs! xoxo

      Liked by 2 people

      October 14, 2017
  18. Such stress for you, those children and your folks Lynn! Bravo Lynn-keep writing as you can! xoxoxxoxxo b-2

    Liked by 1 person

    October 14, 2017
  19. Oh my gosh, Lynn. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. It’s so sad how other cultures treat women. I hope you know it’s his problem and not yours.

    Liked by 1 person

    October 14, 2017
  20. Oh Lynn! How you ever managed to survive this and raise these absolutely amazing wonderful children just PROVES you were not the “unbalanced and spoiled woman he had been “burdened” with!” You amaze me EVERY day! EVERY single day! I so hope some day you will realize how amazing YOU are! Hugs!!! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    October 14, 2017
  21. Kudos Lynn for taking that first difficult step towards self help. 👏👏💕💕

    Liked by 2 people

    October 14, 2017
  22. Lynn, you are such a strong woman!! He has tried to destroy you, and CAN”T!!
    You are such a loving woman. Love wins over evil!

    Liked by 1 person

    October 14, 2017
  23. Very sad!

    Liked by 1 person

    October 14, 2017
    • Thanks for reading

      Like

      October 15, 2017
      • My pleasure. It reminds me of the film “Not Without My Daughter”. Whereby the husband has his American family in Iran and plans to keep their daughter in Iran without the wife’s say so. Was such an emotional turmoil. Stay strong and keep your family united!!💕💕

        Liked by 1 person

        October 15, 2017
  24. Beautifully written, Lynn. You lived the nightmare and write from the heart

    Liked by 1 person

    October 15, 2017
  25. How difficult that must have been for you. Sending hugs! 💐 🌷 🌹

    Liked by 1 person

    October 15, 2017
  26. You and your children are a beautiful story. I’m glad you are writing it….because the outcome is phenomenal. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    October 15, 2017
  27. Sending lots of love.
    xx

    Liked by 1 person

    October 15, 2017
  28. Lynn, you have nothing to be ashamed of. You continue to grow into the brave and courageous woman you are – not to mention becoming an excellent writer. Keep on pouring out your bottled-up stories.

    Liked by 1 person

    October 15, 2017
  29. What horror. But thankfully, it’s done, past…you are here and now. You and your family are so strong and brave…truly an inspiration. (K)

    Like

    October 15, 2017
  30. I can see why this was so very hard to write down. Oh Lynn, that was just pure evil! Sending love and blessings and so grateful you are free from that evil. xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    October 15, 2017
  31. Hugs Lynn. You know my feelings on this man. It is just so apparent that he has numerous issues, so sad that you and your family had to go through things like that. I can imagine how hard it is, having to now re – live all this through writing, but it is the best way. xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    October 16, 2017
  32. I often wondered, Lynn, reading about your experiences, what it must have been like for your parents, and I think I knew, in the back of my head, that they were your allies and that your strength was somehow bolstered by their love and determination. You were not crazy, and thank goodness that they were there to help you break free. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    October 16, 2017
  33. Oh my… Lyn! I am so thankful you had your mother and father with you! And the clarity they must have been able to give to you is priceless! Your words are so vivid and perfectly written!

    Liked by 1 person

    October 16, 2017
  34. You have travelled such a long way. I am so glad you had such great support from your family.

    Liked by 2 people

    October 17, 2017
  35. Thank you for sharing your stories with us. I continued to be shocked by them, which is good. I must not forget others who are living in such fear. These stories must be hard to write….seeming the happen years ago and at the same time yesterday. As you watch your children and grand children grow strong and happy, you know what he said were all lies.

    Liked by 1 person

    October 17, 2017
  36. I have a hard time hitting the like button for these chapters. Great writing about terrible times.

    Liked by 1 person

    October 17, 2017
  37. What a monster. He is certifiably insane. You’ve come so far in your recovery Lynn… keep on going! xx

    Liked by 1 person

    October 17, 2017
  38. Sounds like you got up and left at the right time. Thank you for sharing this. My wife’s ex was exactly like that and it was hell for several years.

    /thumbs up

    Liked by 1 person

    October 18, 2017
  39. What a courageous woman you are Lyn. You managed to escape that terror with all of your children. Kudos to your wonderful parents too. Wow.

    Liked by 1 person

    October 30, 2017
  40. Hey there! I loved this post. We need your help. Can you help us out?

    Like

    October 31, 2017
  41. The Emotion in this is intense, But Great
    Good work.

    Liked by 1 person

    November 8, 2017
  42. Excellent one really
    I really liked the frame of story
    I think i do write on similar genre,wanna see
    http://shivashishspeaks.wordpress.com/

    Like

    November 21, 2017
  43. Oh my gosh, that must have been so terrifying. But on the other hand . . .
    AWESOME STORY!!well written

    Liked by 1 person

    December 21, 2017

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