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The visit-9

This is the last story of my series entitled- The visit-

https://lynzrealcooking.com/the-visit/the-visit-1/

May 2015 

Guilt and shame remained my constant companion, beseeching me to make one last effort to keep the family together. Chaotic thought patterns flooded my senses, condemning me for my actions, ridiculing efforts that had landed me where I felt I now belonged, hiding and afraid. A rush of trepidation took hold when I realized that my rebellion had gotten me nowhere and most likely had brought us to the point of no return.

My daughter lay motionless across the room, but her agitated breathing could be heard each time his bags rolled overhead. The familiar clatter of footsteps reverberated, pausing as if to warn and summon. With each sound came the reminder that he was leaving and my fate would be sealed. A loud and garish voice brought me back to the real world as he made his way downstairs, “Abdullah yela, let’s go.

Now the time had come to put my supposed selfish ways aside and end this stand-off. I would once again try to secure financial support for my children and safety for our household. It was 5 a.m., they would be leaving for the airport soon and this would be my last chance to make amends.

I placed one foot on the floor as if to signify my hesitation at the prospect of venturing back into the insidious world of abuse.

The front door shut, leaving anxiety behind.

 

 

 

 

 

82 Comments Post a comment
  1. Lynn, you are amazing. I wish I could pour that into your heart ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    August 30, 2017
  2. Moments that take your breath away in the most horrible way!

    Liked by 1 person

    August 30, 2017
  3. Lynn, your words are so gripping!

    Liked by 1 person

    August 30, 2017
  4. Wow! I want to turn the page and find out what happens next! You are amazing, and strong.

    Liked by 1 person

    August 30, 2017
  5. Lynn, you draw me into your story and all thelings. The tension and chaotic feelings are all there. I’m so proud of you for not going with him. Your courage is remarkable. Blessings!

    Liked by 1 person

    August 30, 2017
  6. still makes me shudder….

    Liked by 1 person

    August 30, 2017
    • Thanks for reading Jodi! Feeling really good today xxxxxx Maybe it’s some of your gorgeous inspiration lately. Have you heard anything about Terry? I am very worried.

      Liked by 1 person

      August 30, 2017
      • Terry’s silence is deeply worrying.

        Liked by 1 person

        August 30, 2017
      • I’m so glad to hear you are feeling good!!! YAY! I’ve heard from Gary every day, but haven’t heard from Terry for a few. He sure is on my mind and in my heart though. What that dear soul has been through and the love he has spread just so warms my heart and soul. I will sooooo miss him……

        Liked by 2 people

        August 30, 2017
  7. Very well written. Well done, again. X

    Liked by 1 person

    August 30, 2017
  8. I don’t think I could bear reading any of this if I didn’t know where you are now.

    Liked by 2 people

    August 30, 2017
  9. Whenever I read this I feel it like a punch in the gut. You ARE an amazing woman, you truly are. xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    August 30, 2017
  10. What you went through Lynn! I hope the book is coming along and things are going well for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    August 30, 2017
  11. Letters joined together to make sentences that give us a look at the tapestry of your life. All from the heart of in keeping your family together. That anxiety alone must be unbearable to bear.

    Liked by 2 people

    August 30, 2017
  12. Lynz, powerful writing and I felt for you with every word. Your indomitalbe strength is an inspiration to us all.❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    August 30, 2017
  13. Dear sister Lynn, you are expressing your soul here. Much love to you ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    August 30, 2017
  14. That foot on the floor was the first step in a new journey. Thanks for sharing with us.

    Liked by 3 people

    August 30, 2017
  15. Over the years, I have performed” What Are You Doing the Rest of Your Life?” It has always filled me with emotion, because when I sang it for your wedding I had no idea you would have to face such adversity and isolation. We always wondered where you are, and the song would haunt me as I sang it, thinking of you. When you hit me up on Facebook years ago, I was soooo surprised and happy. You were at the crossroads of bringing your kids back and I was so excited, and afraid, for you. I hadn’t sung the song for so long, but I sang it maybe a year ago on a gig and I thought of you now, how you kicked ass and started over with your kids here and your awesome parents by your side. When I sang the song last year I had a different emotion…instead of sadness and wonder, I felt happy. At first I thought it was menopause that made me almost cry, but it was the fact that I have such emotion tied up in this song. So…what are you doing the rest of your life? Anything you want, sister!! Anything you want.

    Liked by 1 person

    August 30, 2017
  16. You are in control of your own destiny, not someone who controlled you. What an inspiration you are, Lynn! God’s peace be with you each and every day as you blossom with the fruits of your spirit! 🌸🌷🌸🌷🌸

    Liked by 1 person

    August 30, 2017
  17. Such courage 👏🏻

    Liked by 1 person

    August 30, 2017
  18. Love this….your writing really pulls you into the story..really loving your new blog page….xxkat

    Liked by 1 person

    August 30, 2017
  19. Good to know you are feeling up to writing again. Such powerful stuff.

    Liked by 1 person

    August 30, 2017
  20. It has taken great courage to reach the place you have discovered. Many people would never have come this far.

    Liked by 1 person

    August 30, 2017
    • Those words are very good reminders Jonathan. I forget this many times even in one day but you are right!!! Thank you so much

      Liked by 1 person

      August 30, 2017
  21. Bravo–Bestie-xoxxoxoxoxxoxoxo b-2

    Liked by 1 person

    August 30, 2017
  22. This was powerful! It seems the choices you had were both painful. Not being with him was certainly the best choice… but the “anxiety left behind” barely even begins to describe your struggle! I get that Lyn! Lots of love and hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

    August 30, 2017
  23. Hugs! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    August 30, 2017
  24. Such courage

    Liked by 1 person

    August 31, 2017
  25. A turning point!

    Liked by 1 person

    August 31, 2017
  26. Good one as usual

    Liked by 1 person

    August 31, 2017
  27. Let me echo the thoughts of others – this is gripping, but knowing you’re here today makes it bearable to read.

    Liked by 1 person

    August 31, 2017
  28. You are amazing, Lynn, and a strong woman. I’m proud of you.

    Liked by 1 person

    August 31, 2017
  29. Lynn, you are strong of heart and soul. You gave a huge gift to your family by not “keeping then together.” ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    August 31, 2017
  30. You are so strong and courageous Lynn. Found myself holding my breath reading this.

    Liked by 1 person

    August 31, 2017
  31. Even knowing your story, this still shocks me reading this. xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    August 31, 2017
  32. I hope the door was protection enough for the rage that surely followed…

    Liked by 1 person

    September 6, 2017

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