This is the last story of my series entitled- The visit-
https://lynzrealcooking.com/the-visit/the-visit-1/
May 2015
Guilt and shame remained my constant companion, beseeching me to make one last effort to keep the family together. Chaotic thought patterns flooded my senses, condemning me for my actions, ridiculing efforts that had landed me where I felt I now belonged, hiding and afraid. A rush of trepidation took hold when I realized that my rebellion had gotten me nowhere and most likely had brought us to the point of no return.
My daughter lay motionless across the room, but her agitated breathing could be heard each time his bags rolled overhead. The familiar clatter of footsteps reverberated, pausing as if to warn and summon. With each sound came the reminder that he was leaving and my fate would be sealed. A loud and garish voice brought me back to the real world as he made his way downstairs, “Abdullah yela, let’s go.”
Now the time had come to put my supposed selfish ways aside and end this stand-off. I would once again try to secure financial support for my children and safety for our household. It was 5 a.m., they would be leaving for the airport soon and this would be my last chance to make amends.
I placed one foot on the floor as if to signify my hesitation at the prospect of venturing back into the insidious world of abuse.
The front door shut, leaving anxiety behind.
Lynn, you are amazing. I wish I could pour that into your heart ❤
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You are so so sweet dearest Cathy!!
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Moments that take your breath away in the most horrible way!
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Thanks dear Erika xx
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💖💖
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Lynn, your words are so gripping!
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Thanks so much Lynn
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Wow! I want to turn the page and find out what happens next! You are amazing, and strong.
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Thanks so much Deborah! xxx
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Lynn, you draw me into your story and all thelings. The tension and chaotic feelings are all there. I’m so proud of you for not going with him. Your courage is remarkable. Blessings!
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Thanks so much, your words help so much
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still makes me shudder….
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Thanks for reading Jodi! Feeling really good today xxxxxx Maybe it’s some of your gorgeous inspiration lately. Have you heard anything about Terry? I am very worried.
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Terry’s silence is deeply worrying.
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Yes I agree ☹️
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I’m so glad to hear you are feeling good!!! YAY! I’ve heard from Gary every day, but haven’t heard from Terry for a few. He sure is on my mind and in my heart though. What that dear soul has been through and the love he has spread just so warms my heart and soul. I will sooooo miss him……
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How is Gary holding up? Yes he will be missed deeply
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it is tough I’m sure…..
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Very well written. Well done, again. X
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Thanks so much Marina xx
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I don’t think I could bear reading any of this if I didn’t know where you are now.
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Thanks so much Sarah! Hope you are well dear xxx
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Whenever I read this I feel it like a punch in the gut. You ARE an amazing woman, you truly are. xxx
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Thanks dearest Fiona, I am trying xxx
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I know you are but don’t push too hard and hurt yourself, please xxx
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Thanks dear xxx
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What you went through Lynn! I hope the book is coming along and things are going well for you.
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I am back to it! Thanks dear Antonia!
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Great, good luck!
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Thanks!
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Letters joined together to make sentences that give us a look at the tapestry of your life. All from the heart of in keeping your family together. That anxiety alone must be unbearable to bear.
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Thanks so much dear Joseph! It really still is! Before I knew where he was at all times, we spoke several times a day, I felt more secure in a sick way! Thanks for the love and support!
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You’re welcome. Always her for you 🙂
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xxx
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Lynz, powerful writing and I felt for you with every word. Your indomitalbe strength is an inspiration to us all.❤️
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Thanks so much Annika xxx
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Dear sister Lynn, you are expressing your soul here. Much love to you ❤
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Thanks dearest sister, love to you too
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Thank you Lynn.
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xxx
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That foot on the floor was the first step in a new journey. Thanks for sharing with us.
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Thanks so much for reading
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Over the years, I have performed” What Are You Doing the Rest of Your Life?” It has always filled me with emotion, because when I sang it for your wedding I had no idea you would have to face such adversity and isolation. We always wondered where you are, and the song would haunt me as I sang it, thinking of you. When you hit me up on Facebook years ago, I was soooo surprised and happy. You were at the crossroads of bringing your kids back and I was so excited, and afraid, for you. I hadn’t sung the song for so long, but I sang it maybe a year ago on a gig and I thought of you now, how you kicked ass and started over with your kids here and your awesome parents by your side. When I sang the song last year I had a different emotion…instead of sadness and wonder, I felt happy. At first I thought it was menopause that made me almost cry, but it was the fact that I have such emotion tied up in this song. So…what are you doing the rest of your life? Anything you want, sister!! Anything you want.
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You are in control of your own destiny, not someone who controlled you. What an inspiration you are, Lynn! God’s peace be with you each and every day as you blossom with the fruits of your spirit! 🌸🌷🌸🌷🌸
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Thanks for this lovely inspiring comment! So beautiful
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Such courage 👏🏻
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Your so kind
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Love this….your writing really pulls you into the story..really loving your new blog page….xxkat
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Thanks sis xxxxx
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Good to know you are feeling up to writing again. Such powerful stuff.
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Thanks so much Peggy xx have missed you and your amazing adventures
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It has taken great courage to reach the place you have discovered. Many people would never have come this far.
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Those words are very good reminders Jonathan. I forget this many times even in one day but you are right!!! Thank you so much
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Bravo–Bestie-xoxxoxoxoxxoxoxo b-2
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This was powerful! It seems the choices you had were both painful. Not being with him was certainly the best choice… but the “anxiety left behind” barely even begins to describe your struggle! I get that Lyn! Lots of love and hugs!
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I know you can totally understand dear blue xxx thank you
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Hugs! ❤
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Xxx
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Such courage
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Thanks Derrick
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A turning point!
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Yes
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Good one as usual
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Thanks
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Let me echo the thoughts of others – this is gripping, but knowing you’re here today makes it bearable to read.
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Thanks dear Sarah
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You are amazing, Lynn, and a strong woman. I’m proud of you.
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Thank you so much. That makes me feel very good. I am realizing I should be proud not ashamed!
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Lynn, you are strong of heart and soul. You gave a huge gift to your family by not “keeping then together.” ❤
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You are right
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You are so strong and courageous Lynn. Found myself holding my breath reading this.
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Thanks dear Suzanne xx
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Even knowing your story, this still shocks me reading this. xxx
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Thanks for reading lynne xxx
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My pleasure, always xxx
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[…] https://lynzrealcooking.com/2017/08/30/the-visit-9/ […]
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I hope the door was protection enough for the rage that surely followed…
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He left and have not seen him since
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Awesome!
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yes!! The threat looms in my mind but at least no have not seen him!
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You’re to strong now and have too large a support network for him to ever bring you down again!
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Thanks!!!!!
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