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Anxiety

I have not been on wordpress as much lately, have not posted recipes or stories. I am trying to keep my blog going and stay in touch with everyone which has been hard. If I have not visited you lately, please excuse my absence. I have worked hard to create this space and do not want to just drop it and so I struggle each day to be as present here as I can. This is something I am proud of and I feel blessed to have so many good and caring friends here!

I have OCD, there I said it. I remember as a child explaining to a new friend all about my rituals. She was confused and asked many questions but after that day our friendship didn’t go any further. I never knew my behavior or ideas were different but learned to keep them to myself.

Years later when living in Saudi I experienced symptoms that were worse and so I researched online and realized I had OCD! I still lived in denial and quite frankly was trying to survive through an emotionally, spiritually, verbally, financially and intimately abusive marriage, so OCD was not my main focus.

Here I am now, age 54, having to face it and to figure out what to do. I was unsure, was it PTSD, Anxiety or OCD. After he visited 18 months ago and it ended badly, things started falling apart. I have seen therapists and taken other little steps but still find I am living in fear and anxiety. I am telling you this because a good blogging friend told me to reach out and express myself.

Once again I thank you for your love, caring and support.

Lynn

191 Comments Post a comment
  1. Love and hugs, Lynz. Take a break if you need to. Your WP Family will be here waiting for you. x

    Liked by 1 person

    December 28, 2016
  2. Be well, be strong, and we are here! Many people know what you speak of personally.

    Liked by 1 person

    December 28, 2016
  3. Lynn you’ll have plenty of support and understanding from the blogging community. Take care we love your work.

    Liked by 1 person

    December 29, 2016
  4. Lynn, I certainly know all about taking time off from blogging! Sometimes you just need to unplug and walk away for awhile. No shame in that…or indicating your condition. I can say from what I know a combination of medication and therapy (from someone who specializes in OCD) often works best. It takes a little time for both to work. The medication gets you to a place where the therapy begins to make sense. Be patient and take care of yourself. All the best, Bruce

    Liked by 2 people

    December 29, 2016
    • Thanks for this information! How do you know about OCD if I may ask? Thanks for the support Bruce!

      Liked by 1 person

      December 30, 2016
      • Lynn, I learned about it from my family. A relative of mine apparently suffered from it for awhile some time ago. They told me how the treatment played out in their instance. That’s what worked for them!

        Liked by 1 person

        December 30, 2016
        • Wow thanks for telling me Bruce! So far I am taking medication and it is making me more anxious for now haha but I know I need to work on it with a trained professional as well. Thanks for telling me!

          Liked by 1 person

          December 30, 2016
  5. Lynn, my prayer for you is that God’s healing touch be upon you and you have all the love and support you need.

    Liked by 2 people

    December 29, 2016
  6. Dear Lynn, Please know that you are in my thoughts. I hope you realize how many people view you with genuine affection. You are such an inspiration to so many others. Sending love and hugs to you and your beautiful family! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    December 29, 2016
  7. Just stopping by to say hi….and see how you are….mine emotions come and go in waves….I am stronger at times…crying at other times…claiming my strength and feeling it….then a noise happens and I’m scared…shaking and crying…
    anyway…just want you to know I’m here…1000’s of Blessings from me to you

    Liked by 1 person

    December 29, 2016
    • Thanks so very very much! I have dealt with this for 34 years so it’s hard to live any other way I guess. I don’t know why I am so anxious now but this has been my life since I was 20. I hope you are well dear! you are writing about important issues and shining a light on surviving! I wish you happiness! xo

      Liked by 1 person

      December 30, 2016
      • I understand about everything….and being anxious….of course you are….I have it at an extreme level…I have to remember to breath sometimes during a panic attack…count my breaths….hold a hematite sometimes….talk myself through it….telling myself that I am safe….I have CPTSD and Chronic Panic Disorder now….US SURVIVOR’S CAN HEAL TOGETHER

        Liked by 1 person

        December 30, 2016
        • Thanks for sharing with me! It really helps! Yes we can heal together so true! xx

          Like

          December 31, 2016
  8. Hey…we will all still be here whenever you decide to come back…no explanations needed we are your friends. You have had a lot of things happening in your life and sometimes it just all overwhelms us…Happy and sad things all mix together so don’t beat yourself up….Chill, relax and take each day as it comes. Hugs x

    Liked by 1 person

    December 29, 2016
  9. Cherish all these supportive and loving comments as you go forward, Lynn. We are here for you, salute your courage, your candor, your warm and loving spirit, all reflected in your words on this blog. Take all the time you need, stay strong and positive. There are so many reasons for your OCD, PTSD, however it is defined. Those hormone fluctuations…ugh. You are at what we call a “ripe” age, and you will emerge from it stronger than you can imagine right now. Focus on family…yours is a beautiful one, and keep reaching out…it matters. With concern and loving thoughts…Van. 💖

    Liked by 2 people

    December 30, 2016
  10. My ex husband suffered from OCD. It was not a joke, and some days were harder for him than others. I’m hoping for you to find your balance.

    Liked by 1 person

    December 31, 2016
  11. Happy New Year to you and yours. I wish you love in 2017 and always.

    Liked by 1 person

    December 31, 2016
  12. Hope you are doing better, Lynn! Wishing you and your family a happy and prosperous New Year 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    January 1, 2017
  13. Sending warm hugs your way Lynn.💖

    Liked by 1 person

    January 3, 2017
  14. koolaidmoms #

    I missed this post before. I had been wondering where you were and thought you were playing with your sweet babies. Thank you for being brave and sharing your struggle. Hopefully this can become a safe space for you. Miss you on here but take care of yourself. Do what you need to do to heal. We will still be here.

    Liked by 1 person

    January 4, 2017
  15. I’ve missed you so much, dear sis!! Love you and sending hugs!! We will always be here for you!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    January 4, 2017
  16. Oh Lynn, I do wish I were there to give you a hug. Hugs work miracles, but you know that with your loving and supporting children and their children. We all neglect things at times. It matters not a jot or a tittle! We all appreciate your posts, and fully understand if you are not around for a while. Love and best wishes for 2017. May it bring good health, good fortune, and the continuing love of family and friends.

    Liked by 1 person

    January 5, 2017
  17. Oh Lyn! I am so sorry you are struggling. I feel bad that I have not reached out to you. This has been a very difficult few weeks, so I understand. I understand how terribly difficult writing and posting this must have been for you. I think of you often. I haven’t been on my blog much the past few weeks. And it has been hard the past few days trying to come back. Writing this honestly and openly has its own anxiety. I understand you, I hear you, I feel your struggle, and I care deeply about you! Hugs!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    January 5, 2017
  18. Hey Lynn,

    It took me a really long time to figure out/admit/get help when it came to my depression, anxiety, and paranoia. I mean, I was only 18…I thought, “I’m way too young for this,” but my symptoms only got worse over time. I didn’t want to admit to myself that I was mentally ill (in my mind, that meant crazy), so I went and got tested for a neurological disease that ran in my family. It turns out that I have Huntington’s Disease, which basically eats away at your mind over time.

    Now, I use my blog to express my fears and sorrows of living a mentally-ill life that’s going to be cut in half. “Coming out” helped me tremendously. If you do some research, I’m sure there are focus groups (especially on social media) that can help you out and let you vent. Even though I don’t know you personally, I am so so proud! Let’s break the stigma.

    Much love,
    Capturing the Corners

    Liked by 1 person

    January 5, 2017
  19. Heartafire #

    Lynz, I have been lax or perhaps this did not come up in my mail or reader. I am sending my best wishes and hoping that all will go well and you will be back to a happy a peaceful place very soon.<3

    Liked by 1 person

    January 6, 2017
  20. My heart is with you, dear friend. I’m glad you are still blogging and reaching out and sharing your journey. OCD can be managed, and it doesn’t change the wonderful person you are inside and out. Those are separate. Sending you lots of love. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    January 6, 2017
  21. Your openness and honesty not only makes you a good person, but also a good friend. Sorry your former friend was not capable of handling someone else’s truth. Hopefully s/he hasn’t had to deal with the same kinda rejection with his/her flaws. The first step is always with admitting your problem, which you’ve done. I have no doubt you will fight your way oughta this like you’ve had to do so many other times in your life.

    Liked by 1 person

    January 9, 2017
  22. Anita Kushwaha #

    Sending you lots of love and hugs and bright wishes for a Happy New Year, Lynn! 🙂 One of my loved ones lived with OCD and I saw firsthand what it was like, so I’m sending you extra support too. 🙂 XO

    Like

    January 11, 2017
  23. I, too, have been taking a break and am afraid I wasn’t here when you posted this -but I think of you often and as someone who has dealt with OCD all my life, I think you’re doing great. Do what you can, write when you can, take care of yourself. You’ve come such a long way!

    Like

    January 11, 2017
  24. Your strength never ceases to amaze me Lynn! So proud of you!

    Liked by 1 person

    January 14, 2017
  25. God bless hope all becomes well.

    Liked by 1 person

    January 17, 2017
  26. I’ve been thinking of you Lynn. I don’t know why I haven’t seen your posts lately. I took a blogging break around the holidays. It’s good to ‘get things out there’ and admit the issues we’re dealing with. I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with OCD and anxiety. Hope you are doing well and things get better for you very soon! xx

    Like

    January 18, 2017
  27. I’m happy you have reached out. I write in the hope that others will talk about mental health so we can lift the stigma and it can be treated like every other disease. It’s been in the shadows too long. I hope you can get the help you need and the symptoms subside. You are very braves Lynn! You’ve survived horrible times and you will prevail. You’re gonna make it after all (as Mary Richards did).

    Liked by 1 person

    January 26, 2017
  28. Great blog post xx your such an inspirational person💗 p•s go check out my blog posts x it would mean a lot ! X

    Liked by 1 person

    February 25, 2017
  29. I am glad I saw this today. Praying for you. Anxiety is a hard thing to overcome. So is depression. I finally shared a post I wrote 2 years ago after a lonely night of missing Bobby. Of missing Danny and I…. the way we use to be.
    Anger and frustration have taken over. I am becoming bitter and I hate that. I was never bitter before. Never angry before. Sending love and hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

    March 7, 2017
  30. wonderful read thanks for sharing 🙂 Please read my blog related to the same on http://fireinyoursoul.com/2017/02/24/motivational-side-of-caring/ Please follow for more .

    Liked by 1 person

    April 9, 2017
  31. Great post. Thanks for sharing.
    xx Check out my blog!

    Liked by 1 person

    April 15, 2017
  32. mrwadeanderson #

    Hang in there. I too was a victim of an abusive marriage (so glad that part of my life is over) but it left scars. Coming to terms with trauma is difficult. We’re here for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    May 8, 2017

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