I have not been on wordpress as much lately, have not posted recipes or stories. I am trying to keep my blog going and stay in touch with everyone which has been hard. If I have not visited you lately, please excuse my absence. I have worked hard to create this space and do not want to just drop it and so I struggle each day to be as present here as I can. This is something I am proud of and I feel blessed to have so many good and caring friends here!

I have OCD, there I said it. I remember as a child explaining to a new friend all about my rituals. She was confused and asked many questions but after that day our friendship didn’t go any further. I never knew my behavior or ideas were different but learned to keep them to myself.

Years later when living in Saudi I experienced symptoms that were worse and so I researched online and realized I had OCD! I still lived in denial and quite frankly was trying to survive through an emotionally, spiritually, verbally, financially and intimately abusive marriage, so OCD was not my main focus.

Here I am now, age 54, having to face it and to figure out what to do. I was unsure, was it PTSD, Anxiety or OCD. After he visited 18 months ago and it ended badly, things started falling apart. I have seen therapists and taken other little steps but still find I am living in fear and anxiety. I am telling you this because a good blogging friend told me to reach out and express myself.

Once again I thank you for your love, caring and support.