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The book-The beginning

I have a possible beginning so here it is. Let me know what you think. I jump immediately into meeting him right after this. Just playing with different things so a little blip of what I am working on.

A single stream of light made its way through a crack in the villa door. My hips throbbed in an unbearable, stiffening pain, but I lay frozen not daring to move in what seemed like hours of excruciating silence. Two small figures lay near me, outlined by a sheet, delicate eye lashes and soft foreheads were highlighted by beads of sweat. Feigning sleep had become the norm but my body could no longer be still and trembled under the force of gravity. I quickly moved my leg in a heavy jerking motion and took the chance to roll over, freeing my hips from their locked and stationary position. A wave of relief and pain ran from my lower spine down to my thighs, cracking and popping with each adjustment. I surfaced from blankets and sheets to gasp for fresh air, still monitoring my intake, making sure it sounded like a sleeper’s light and steady pattern. A light switch flicked on and off casting small shadows on the door, cars could be heard speeding on the nearby highway and now footsteps made a click clack down the marble hallway. My heart seemed to stop and race alternately, leaving me in a new found state of panic. There were no tears, just sick silent sobs of desperation, praying to God that I would not be taken away from my children and cast out onto the streets of Al-Khobar. Each and every hour he returned and stood motionless over me, I could still hear the voice over my head, at first it beckoned and welcomed me and then it became louder and more agitated,” lynn lynn lynn LYNN ARE you awake?”  He had not been back for two hours and I had lulled myself into an uncomfortable and partial sleep, hoping that his rage had run the usual course. The clicking moved closer and with each movement a burning reality flashed before me. His threats might finally become intertwined with real life and I could be extricated from this villa, made to stand out in the streets of Al-Khobar and eventually shipped off to Riyadh, leaving my children behind.  I closed my eyes, prayed and practiced sleep.

138 Comments Post a comment
  1. Brilliant! What an excellent introduction to your story. It carried the weight of all you had to endure! The fear, the lack of sleep, the unknown always lurking over you… you could feel it all! Great job Lyn! Your writing is wonderful!

    Liked by 1 person

    September 24, 2016
  2. Powerful opening!

    Liked by 1 person

    September 25, 2016
  3. Brilliant and very moving start Lynn, looking forward to reading more.

    Like

    September 26, 2016
  4. Powerful opening. I thought it would be interesting for someone to read it that didn’t already know your story (or at least parts of it). For example, I was already terrified for you and the little ones. But I was already familiar with the terror you had mentioned so often that I filled in so much of the story. So, without explaining, I asked my husband to read the selection. He got it right away and felt your fear. He could picture it and thought it was really good. Just thought I’d give you some feedback. A two big thumbs up from our family. Keep up the work.

    Liked by 1 person

    September 26, 2016
    • That is so very kind of you! Thanks so much for that valuable feedback Thanks to your husband as well!

      Like

      September 26, 2016
  5. Wow, Lynn. That’s fabulous. What a powerful opening. If that’s your opening, no one will be able to put the book down until the last page is read. I’m so excited for you!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    September 27, 2016
  6. Wow, Lynn! An intriguing start! I could feel all the emotions as if it was me there. You are gifted and your book will no doubt be a success!

    Liked by 1 person

    September 28, 2016
  7. Very visual yet incorporates all the senses. I wondered about the flashing light and how he was able to accomplish that without being in the room. A nice setup for all the amazing things you have to write about. Keep writing.

    Liked by 1 person

    October 19, 2016
    • Thanks so much! I appreciate your reading. He sat down the hall in the dark family room most nights and walked through the hall randomly, past my room. Sometimes he stopped and opened the door, or turned on the hall light or just kept going. He would turn lights on and off and I always heard him click click. To be honest at that point everything made me jump and nervous and I was constantly in a state of panic. So basically maybe more of me, thinking and worrying. Anything that happened triggered a panic and I never knew which way to turn or if I could. I felt locked in. I still have this feeling many times especially at night. It made me start thinking about those times and that started the book. Thanks again.

      Like

      October 20, 2016

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