Writing a book is hard work! At this point it is a huge mess, pages of miss matched stories and free writing. I am proud that I have stuck to my writing days and to leaving home to get some focus. I thought I would take a break and do a short story for the blog and to attend Senior Salon, Haddon Musings This story is set in 2002, when residents of the Western compound were forced to move out. We had lived there for 6 years and it was finally time to leave.
Management made the announcement, residents would need to empty the compound and make other living arrangements. A large sum of money was given to employees and within weeks everyone would be vacating their homes. Neighbors and friends toured various residential facilities and scrambled to find a suitable replacement. He displayed genuine interest and we trailed behind him searching for a new residence. Each day he carted us along to upscale apartments, new homes and modern compounds and insisted that the ultimate decision was in my hands. I naively perused brochures, asked residential managers for advice and thoughtfully prepared for the move.
I tossed the last box onto a stack of ragged cardboard and remembered similar ones that had stood lined along the villa wall years before. This house was a far cry from where we had started, an empty, unfurnished villa in Riyadh. It was also lacking the finishing touches and amenities that we had grown accustomed to on the compound. White rusted bars framed the window and jagged metal wire held pieces of dining room chairs into place. I felt a twinge of guilt remembering my defiant and ungrateful attitude when he chose this place. Although I had learned that voicing my opinion was futile and ultimately brought more anguish to our household, this time a bitter fury spilled out and could no longer be contained. Enough money had been supplied for our family to move to a similar setting but this was seen as a waste and a luxury. I had defiantly and almost mockingly it seemed, accepted his words at face value and when forced to agree with his choice willingly, a resounding opposition rang out. Several days of insubordination were met with fiery silence and warnings of what was to come. I finally conformed and agreed that yes this was surely the best place for our family. Tears welled up as I held the last box, cut the tape and broke it down just as I had for each and every one, but somehow this one was different, unique. It signaled the finality of this move and all that it entailed. We would once again be on our own, living outside of the Western compound that had been our home for the past 6 years.The confines of the compound walls had not only been lacking in our standard isolation, but also inclusive, providing furniture, mini mart, recreation center and transportation. It was the most normal environment that we had resided in and as Osama solemnly reminded me, we would once again be on our own, left to fend for ourselves.
Ugh! So hard to imagine life lived in this manner. You must be a strong, strong woman, is all I can say. So grateful your life is better now.
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You are so kind! It seems like a world far away but I see it’s remnants daily. xxx
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An incredible lack of insight to provide for his family. Greed overpowered common sense. HE is an IDIOT! xoxoxo b-2
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Yes he ended up making money off of us it seemed! Ticket money for trips home, money for housing etc.! Love ya bestie xoxo
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At 1/3rd I knew that-greed, anger, lack of compassion. Love You too my dear friend. xoxo b-2
Writing a book is labor intensive Lynn-Outline the 16 years there. From first arriving 8 months pregnant to first (sad) residence. That is after the introduction of who is Lynn-how was she raised and by whom. School years, meeting him, the “Secret marriage” first few years before being lured to Saudi Arabia, et cetera. It then will not be so over-whelming. Okay!!! xoxoxo b-2
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hmmm that sounds good. Now it is a huge mess haha thanks dear xoxo
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Its a big undertaking but I know you can do it-chronicle/outline/write. Editing will come later…xoxoxo b-2
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Thanks dear! I appreciate your love, support and caring! It is a huge process and so yes I will do as you advised! I have been feeling a bit lost on this project! xxx
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xoxo
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Glad to hear that the writing days are working for you! (I’m also glad for the break so we get a short story – another hard one to read.)
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Thanks Sarah! I appreciate your support, you are a great friend to me xx
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And you are a great friend to me – I am so happy we’ve connected through cyberspace!
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me too!!
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I can’t imagine how alone & isolated you must have felt at this time in your life. A testament to your strength I suspect!
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Thanks so much for reading Lynn xx
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He sounds like he was a master of psychology.
Leslie
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yes for sure. I want to explain or try to bring people into my world which is hard! It’s an insidious world
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You are doing a fine job with it, Lynn. He is very manipulative and verges on psychosis.
Leslie
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thanks trying! xx
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No trying to it, you draw me right in.
Leslie
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Thanks Leslie! I appreciate all of your kind support xx
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❤
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He was a monster to his own family. Good that we have something called karma. Big hugs to you, dear friend ❤
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Thanks dearest Irene! xx
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The short story is good! As always with your chapters I’m on the edge of my seat waiting to find out what happens next!
I’m glad getting away from is working. Don’t worry the book will come together! 🙂
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Thanks so much Deborah for the continued support and encouragement!
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MP! XX
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xoxo
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Such greed and manipulation is sickening. Good writing I left off reading with a sense of foreboding.
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Thanks for reading Bernadette and caring! xxx
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The moment where you break the last box down and the reader understands what it actually means is very powerful. Writing is hard work. But you are doing it. Be very very proud of yourself …. I think you know that xx
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Moving is always hard…but the isolation really intensifies everything.
You are doing great! All these stories will eventually find their place, together. (K)
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Thanks so much K!
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xoxo
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I barely read the comments but this time, I did. They all state all the things that are going through my mind and heart…. from idiot to loneliness and isolation. It shows so well how far you have come. Hard to imagine that you bore that for so long!
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Thanks so much dearest Erika! xx
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Huge hugs to my Hero Lynn!
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Your so sweet, thank you xxx
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😊💖💖
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Sometimes I wish I could reach through my screen and hug you.
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I sure wish you could! I could use a hug!
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Glad to hear that you are writing despite all the hard work it entails. I’m looking forward to reading your book.
I can’t even imagine how difficult that phase of your life must’ve been for you, so happy that you are much better off now! You are a strong woman, Lynz!
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Thanks so much! I hope I can get this done! I feel it needs to be said and written x
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Sorry you had to endure this Lynn, I know it was difficult. Very glad you are here to write these words down and hopefully have them lifted from your shoulders. Hope your day is beautiful. 🙂
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Thanks dear! I hope you are well xxx
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Kudos for hanging in there with your writing schedule!
And you had, to that point it seems, already been living in rugged conditions. 😦
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Thanks Colleen! Trying to keep at it!
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There is nothing I can add…I ditto all the sentiments above Lynn…
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thanks so much xxx
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😊 xx
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Hi Lynn, I can only echo the above comments! Your writing is very compelling and does draw us in wanting to know more….! I would definitely start at the begging and let the story unravel til the time you you managed to escape his clutches. I sometimes wonder if he reads your blog and realizes the cruelty he showed his family!! Big hugs Lynn xoxo
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I have thought for months, hmm does he know about the blog? In the end I tried to talk, explain and tell him how I felt but it did no good!
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You could talk now till doomsday and he will NEVER grasp his cruelty Lynn, that is the realization of this situation for you and many others. That is why it is so very important to share your story so others know a perpetrator! Plus…a massive IDIOT! I hope he does read this blog then comes to Florida for a real rude awakening. I have said that many times and I mean it. HIS way or the highway, thankfully you had enough and found the courage to leave and stay on US soil…Courage to do the best thing for you and those 9 children. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo b-2
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You are so wonderful dearest bestie! I feel anxious and then think the book is just ridiculous, but you guys keep me moving on it. Talking about the importance of this book Cheryl, it makes me feel more motivation.I tend to forget why I am doing this! I wish that any woman who is in that situation would possibly read and then realize it was not them. I thought I had a huge problem, in the end I sat leaking tears, a wreck, not knowing which way was up or down! I was so mixed up and so scared! so, yes you are right my friend, it is important to speak out!!!!!! Thanks so much for reminding me that is the reason for me doing this!!!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo much love
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Not only that aspect Lynn but as therapy for you to know in your heart of heart that you are not at fault. What you are is a SURVIVOR! Continue on but do not put pressure on yourself. Small story snippets of life as you shared today bring it to life for people because it is so real! I will continue to support you and encourage you and I know truly ho important this is.xoxoxoxo b-2 Hugs and Love back to you!!!
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xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
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It really is his loss! He never appreciated what he had, you are incredible women Lynn xxx
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Thanks so much dear xxxxx
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xoxoxoxo😊
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I probably should not ever hold your physical book in my hand! I want to rip a piece out of the computer, so I might just burn down my trailer, if I had paper to burn!!
OF COURSE he made money off the move! ARGH I got so burned up that you and your children had to endure living with such an awful person!! and with such violence, and abuse.
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Thanks so much dearest for caring!
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You’re so welcome.
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So glad to hear you are writing your book dear Lynn! I am sure it is quite a challenge. cheryl had great advice. Keep on keepin’ on. Your story is one worth reading. ❤
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Thanks so much, I will try
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There was no winning in that situation, Lynn.
And so glad you’re working on your book. Yes, it’s hard. Whoever said writing a book is easy, probably never tried to write a book! Above all, just have fun with it. When it stops being fun, take a break. There’s no deadline 🙂
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Thanks so much! I will try to remember that! xx
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I am so glad you are continuing with your writing! I’m really looking forward to the final product, which I am sure will be fabulous! xo
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thanks dearest KR! You are a love! xo
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You too my friend! xo
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xoxo
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This was something I could picture, his cruelty to act like you had a choice when you had absolutely NO choices! Argh! I worked at a battered women’s shelter and could only take it 18 months, standing up for the children’s rights as a child advocate. Your loving care, meals and heart show towards your children plus intelligence passed on to them helped survival be your ending triumph! ❤ 🙂
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Thanks so much my dear friend!
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Lynn! Riveting as always – and just so, so sad that it is a true story. None of this was your fault, and you did the best you could at every step of the way. My wish is that writing this book will help purge you of *his* energy that continues to plague.. You are beautiful, smart and strong…no matter what happened in the past. love and hugs to you always ❤
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thanks my dear friend! Your support means allot to me xoxo
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Your stories about life Saudi are always riveting. Pity they come with huge lashings of heartbreak. The main thing is that we know you’ve moved on to a happier, calmer and fulfilled life.
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Thanks Peggy!
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Your piece is well constructed. Your writing invites the reader to step into your shoes and feel your anger building up. You are telling your own gut-wrenching story. It is filled with your pain. And it will make a compelling book for your readers. Stick to your memories and let your gift of telling your story take your book where it will. Hang in there. ❤
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Thanks so much, that really helps me to feel more motivation. Another day of writing so I loved hearing these words! xx
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I am so excited that you are writing a book Lynn! This is such a sad post, but I am glad I know how everything has ended up! You went through so much and had to keep the peace for so many years. It is terrible that you to be isolated again.
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Thanks for reading Antonia! xx
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I bet your kids are thrilled you are writing a book!
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They want me to and have for years although they don’t want to know what’s in it!!
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I can imagine it would be painful for them to read. Good luck my friend!
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Thanks!
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You have some endurance to have lived thru that. I am so glad you are taking time to write about your journey.
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Thanks so much!
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👍
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All I can say (and it may sound very cold but it’s how I feel),is… GOOD RIDDANCE!! So glad you all are where you are now and this man is in your rear view mirror!
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Thanks so much PJ xoxo
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xoxox
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Given that you already have much of the material, is there anyone who could help you arrange it?
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Do you think I should use my blog posts? I am trying to write it over but not sure how? any ideas would be great. I guess I am not sure of the format
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Your blog posts are alive and would set the tone. I wondered whether anyone who had been through it with you, or heard of it on your trips home, would have an important perspective. And your early life should not be forgotten
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I never spoke to anyone but one of my kids is a writer so she could write about it as well?
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She could undoubtedly help
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She is planning to edit it all
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Good
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Do you know Gwen Wilson’s ‘I belong to No-one’?
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no I don’t!
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I am going to hold my tongue, Lynz. Love and hugs my friend. 😙
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Your story is one that is need to be told. Stick to the writing. I’m looking forward to read your book.
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Thanks so much sweet Maria! You know the feelings well, I hope that even one person might feel less alone and lost! xx
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❤
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Wow Lynn, every time I read your story my respect and awe for you reaches the rooftop and continues. And you are writing a book? Amazing. Wishing you all the very best ❤
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Thanks so much dear. I am trying xx
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Great piece Lynn. This is the past, and going back with all this in your mind, cannot be easy, but it hopefully soothes your soul and is good therapy for you in the long run. You have come so far from then, so proud of you my friend. xxx
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Thanks so much lynne xxxx
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I don’t know how you did it Lynn and thank goodness you made it out. Looking back on the experience it must seem surreal.
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Thanks so much Steph!
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amazing and captivating writing Lynz.
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thanks dear!
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just so happy you are home…..and in control….whooo hoooo kat..PS you have some beautiful pictures on here…
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yes me too Kat xoxo
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With the burdens you already carried and faced, moving must have been extremely hard… feeling alone and isolated!
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