True life story–Naivete

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Writing a book is hard work! At this point it is a huge mess, pages of miss matched stories and free writing. I am proud that I have stuck to my writing days and to leaving home to get some focus. I thought I would take a break and do a short story for the blog and to attend Senior Salon,  Haddon Musings   This story is set in 2002, when residents of the Western compound were forced to move out. We had lived there for 6 years and it was finally time to leave.

Management made the announcement, residents would need to empty the compound and make other living arrangements. A large sum of money was given to employees and within weeks everyone would be vacating their homes. Neighbors and friends toured various residential facilities and scrambled to find a suitable replacement. He displayed genuine interest and we trailed behind him searching for a new residence. Each day he carted us along to upscale apartments, new homes and modern compounds and insisted that the ultimate decision was in my hands. I naively perused brochures, asked residential managers for advice and thoughtfully prepared for the move.

I tossed the last box onto a stack of ragged cardboard and remembered similar ones that had stood lined along the villa wall years before. This house was a far cry from where we had started, an empty, unfurnished villa in Riyadh. It was also lacking the finishing touches and amenities that we had grown accustomed to on the compound. White rusted bars framed the window and jagged metal wire held pieces of dining room chairs into place. I felt a twinge of guilt remembering my defiant and ungrateful attitude when he chose this place. Although I had learned that voicing my opinion was futile and ultimately brought more anguish to our household, this time a bitter fury spilled out and could no longer be contained. Enough money had been supplied for our family to move to a similar setting but this was seen as a waste and a luxury. I had defiantly and almost mockingly it seemed, accepted his words at face value and when forced to agree with his choice willingly, a resounding opposition rang out. Several days of insubordination were met with fiery silence and warnings of what was to come. I finally conformed and agreed that yes this was surely the best place for our family. Tears welled up as I held the last box, cut the tape and broke it down just as I had for each and every one, but somehow this one was different, unique. It signaled the finality of this move and all that it entailed. We would once again be on our own, living outside of the Western compound that had been our home for the past 6 years.The confines of the compound walls had not only been lacking in our standard isolation, but also inclusive, providing  furniture, mini mart, recreation center and transportation. It was the most normal environment that we had resided in and as Osama solemnly reminded me, we would once again be on our own, left to fend for ourselves.

 

114 thoughts on “True life story–Naivete”

  9. The moment where you break the last box down and the reader understands what it actually means is very powerful. Writing is hard work. But you are doing it. Be very very proud of yourself …. I think you know that xx

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  11. I barely read the comments but this time, I did. They all state all the things that are going through my mind and heart…. from idiot to loneliness and isolation. It shows so well how far you have come. Hard to imagine that you bore that for so long!

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  13. Glad to hear that you are writing despite all the hard work it entails. I’m looking forward to reading your book.

    I can’t even imagine how difficult that phase of your life must’ve been for you, so happy that you are much better off now! You are a strong woman, Lynz!

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  17. Hi Lynn, I can only echo the above comments! Your writing is very compelling and does draw us in wanting to know more….! I would definitely start at the begging and let the story unravel til the time you you managed to escape his clutches. I sometimes wonder if he reads your blog and realizes the cruelty he showed his family!! Big hugs Lynn xoxo

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  18. I probably should not ever hold your physical book in my hand! I want to rip a piece out of the computer, so I might just burn down my trailer, if I had paper to burn!!
    OF COURSE he made money off the move! ARGH I got so burned up that you and your children had to endure living with such an awful person!! and with such violence, and abuse.

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  20. There was no winning in that situation, Lynn.

    And so glad you’re working on your book. Yes, it’s hard. Whoever said writing a book is easy, probably never tried to write a book! Above all, just have fun with it. When it stops being fun, take a break. There’s no deadline 🙂

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  22. This was something I could picture, his cruelty to act like you had a choice when you had absolutely NO choices! Argh! I worked at a battered women’s shelter and could only take it 18 months, standing up for the children’s rights as a child advocate. Your loving care, meals and heart show towards your children plus intelligence passed on to them helped survival be your ending triumph! ❤ 🙂

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  23. Lynn! Riveting as always – and just so, so sad that it is a true story. None of this was your fault, and you did the best you could at every step of the way. My wish is that writing this book will help purge you of *his* energy that continues to plague.. You are beautiful, smart and strong…no matter what happened in the past. love and hugs to you always ❤

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  25. Your piece is well constructed. Your writing invites the reader to step into your shoes and feel your anger building up. You are telling your own gut-wrenching story. It is filled with your pain. And it will make a compelling book for your readers. Stick to your memories and let your gift of telling your story take your book where it will. Hang in there. ❤

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  26. I am so excited that you are writing a book Lynn! This is such a sad post, but I am glad I know how everything has ended up! You went through so much and had to keep the peace for so many years. It is terrible that you to be isolated again.

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  33. Great piece Lynn. This is the past, and going back with all this in your mind, cannot be easy, but it hopefully soothes your soul and is good therapy for you in the long run. You have come so far from then, so proud of you my friend. xxx

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