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First visit to Damascus

IMG_2141

Picture of Osama on our visit to see in-laws, 1988. I came across this picture recently and it brought back so many memories.

Osama was only 8 months old when I decided to travel to Damascus. I was 2 months pregnant with my second child and having horrible morning sickness. He did not tell his parents that he had married me or that we had a child. So, when Osama was a few months old he told his brother, who then informed the family. They were upset and furious and wanted nothing to do with us!

They told him they would never be happy about this decision and that was that. Being the stubborn person that I am in such issues, I insisted on traveling there and making them see that I was a good wife and mother. He dropped us off at the airport in Seattle and when he arrived home received a letter saying, Β please do not send this lady she does not know the language or culture and it just won’t work! It was too late we were already on our way! Β I spent 5 weeks with them. The night before I left my father-in-law sat with me and told me, “Um Osama (mother of Osama) we love you and accept you! I am glad I put in the effort and when tough times came my mother-in-law stood by the kids and I!

122 Comments Post a comment
  1. Wow, brave decision on your part. It’s obvious you tried so hard to make things work out!

    Liked by 2 people

    June 22, 2016
  2. One brave lady you were/are!!!

    Liked by 2 people

    June 22, 2016
  3. You are one tough lady, Lynn. That is a difficult situation to deal with.
    Leslie

    Liked by 1 person

    June 22, 2016
  4. I love your spirit! And of course, when they met you and saw you they knew how wonderful you are!

    Liked by 1 person

    June 22, 2016
  5. I don’t think I would have gone. Good for you, Lynn, and a wise choice. πŸ™‚ ❀

    Liked by 1 person

    June 22, 2016
  6. What a cute picture of Osama! Brave women to travel with a toddler and pregnant to meet in laws who were not happy about your marriage. They must have seen what a great person and mother you were as you turned there views right around! Good on you.

    Liked by 2 people

    June 22, 2016
  7. I used “were” to speak about the past event but that really should be an ” are”.

    Liked by 1 person

    June 22, 2016
  8. Well done

    Liked by 1 person

    June 22, 2016
  9. I have to say you are ballsy! Serves you well.

    Liked by 1 person

    June 22, 2016
  10. That was very brave of you.

    Like

    June 22, 2016
  11. Really, she stood by you when things fell apart? She must have known what a nutcase her son was.

    Liked by 1 person

    June 22, 2016
    • Well, when we moved here and stayed he told everyone he was paying helping me, being a great guy. When he married his second wife, I got up my nerve and called his mom, his brothers. At first she was snotty to me, thought I left him etc. I told her in my broken arabic what had happened, he told everyone I was ok with him marrying! So, she cried all day and night(her nephew informed me) and was very upset with him, instructed him to PAY, buy a home, make things right! Two of his brothers told me they would help me in any way possible and were furious with him for abandoning us!

      Liked by 1 person

      June 22, 2016
      • Did any help actually reach you or were these broken promises and wishful thinking?

        Liked by 1 person

        June 22, 2016
        • As you know Syria is a very poor country and so I never took them up on it. Having been there many times I have seen, the basic thing we take for granted would not even be available there such as a dishwasher, carpeting, cheap fruit and meat. I insisted he got an air conditioner for a sister in law, insisted on bringing clothing etc. so they are in big need but just the idea of caring made me happy. My brother in law told me he does not agree with anything that his brother has done and that he is furious with him! That is a huge thing in the middle east as you must stick by your family. so, just the idea that they feel bad and care is enough. My mother in law insisted he cooperate with me and purchase a home, she put her motherly push on him. He has not paid now for a year and she is living with him but I really do not want to call her or get into that again. I am free and just want to try to raise the kids without his help! I really have no contact with them and have not for several years.

          Like

          June 22, 2016
          • The honesty and common sense that you display in recognized who has what, is a true testament to your character. I can imagine that it was a HUGE balm to your bruised soul, to have his mother & brother see your side of the story. We can only pity wife #2, eh?

            Liked by 1 person

            June 22, 2016
          • It really made me feel better. I spent those months feeling the worst ever, thinking he would just go marry a lady 18 years younger after coming to see me, begging me to come back, then months later an email saying he was married, 9 months later a baby! It really put me so low! So, hearing that they were mad did help! She knew he was married, didn’t care basically, she is an architect, successful, had money, left her little boy in Syria and basically said she knew but thought I didnt care. I really struggled with this for so long, it hurt me more to think some other woman would not care at all for me or my kids. My kids visited and said she was quite tough and they fought endlessly!!! she finally left him, so all of that drama and hurt for nothing.

            Like

            June 22, 2016
          • All the drama and hurt forged you and your kids into steel. And perhaps the episode cemented in his family’s mind just what a cad he is.

            Liked by 1 person

            June 22, 2016
          • You are so right!

            Like

            June 22, 2016
  12. I am very glad you went to visit them and they were there for you later Lynn. So very important and brave of you – what strength you display! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    June 22, 2016
  13. Gosh I could never imagine doing something like this Lynn.. You were very brave πŸ™‚

    Like

    June 22, 2016
  14. That could have been a tricky situation, but you seemed to have handled it very well Lynn.

    Liked by 1 person

    June 22, 2016
  15. Wow…I know it’s been awhile (I’ve been having some site related issues) but I love what you’ve done to the place! There has been a lot of changes since I’ve last visited and it looks wonderful! You are a brave woman for going into hostile territory like that Lynz…and you won them over! That speaks volumes to the confidence you had going into the relationship!

    Liked by 1 person

    June 22, 2016
    • Thanks so much Tasha, you are right that is true! At times I feel so foolish but yes I thought it was a true love soul mate match! It was scary going.

      Liked by 1 person

      June 22, 2016
  16. Oh, Lynn, I admire you! I don’t know if I have had the courage to go there and meet them. It was great that you did and they even stood by you. But I am not surprised, you just capture hearts, dear!
    Btw. I like the new look of your blog!

    Liked by 1 person

    June 22, 2016
  17. This shows what a wonderful woman you are and it renews my faith in humanity … the truth will out!Good always triumphs over evil! xxxxx

    Liked by 1 person

    June 22, 2016
  18. Who wouldn’t love you and accept you happily into their family. Too bad that they couldn’t have raised a better son.

    Liked by 1 person

    June 22, 2016
  19. Wow, Lynn – another great story. And that picture is adorable!

    Liked by 1 person

    June 22, 2016
    • Thanks Sarah! My mom has told me for years when I get frustrated with anything or anyone, “Be your personal best do not care about what others do” I used to get so irritated and think who cares, but I did as she said. I do believe it pays off.

      Liked by 2 people

      June 22, 2016
  20. That took a lot of courage. I happy you kicked ass and it worked out

    Liked by 1 person

    June 22, 2016
  21. You have the courage Lynn, which helped you, while you were in need πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

    June 22, 2016
  22. Perhaps their son’s behaviour had them at their wit’s end. It’s good to hear that they stood by you and their grandchildren.

    Liked by 1 person

    June 22, 2016
  23. He was so blond!!! And cute! And yes, very brave to go out there alone. I don’t think I would have had the guts.

    Liked by 1 person

    June 22, 2016
    • It was a necessity. We had lived as a couple, had a child and he would not tell them. So, I was so upset when they were mad. thanks Marina!

      Liked by 1 person

      June 22, 2016
  24. How could they not love you Lynn, you are strong and courageous and a loving person!! It is just too sad that He did not recognize what he had in you πŸ™‚ xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    June 22, 2016
  25. Young and silly turned out to be a good thing in the end! xoxoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    June 22, 2016
  26. A brave decision, and the result is that all these years later you have their good wishes. It does not need to be material support to have meaning for your and your children. (K)

    Liked by 1 person

    June 22, 2016
  27. brave sweet lady. and MIL recognized your goodness! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    June 22, 2016
  28. You are a force Lynn. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

    June 22, 2016
  29. I love your fighting spirit!

    Liked by 1 person

    June 22, 2016
  30. Who couldn’t like you Lynn!!

    Liked by 1 person

    June 23, 2016
  31. Yes, good for you for sticking to what you believed was right. Why did he not go with you on that first visit? xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    June 23, 2016
    • He could not go for years! He had left and was supposed to go back into the army but did not. He did not go back for maybe 15 years. So I made a few trips alone so his family could see the children. I went after my 6th child was born, a newborn, 6 kids along. It was not easy but I felt bad, wanted them to see their grandkids. He did not encourage us to go, I think it was the isolation factor of abuse! his family always questioned, pushed for us to have things, go places! Abusers want you alone, scared and no contact with others. xxx

      Liked by 1 person

      June 23, 2016
  32. You are such a dear and very strong. Good for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    June 23, 2016
  33. Good for you for standing your ground! It worked out lovely with your in-laws. Adorable picture!

    Liked by 1 person

    June 23, 2016
  34. Good for you! Your visit really paid off by creating a connection to your father-in-law.

    Liked by 1 person

    June 23, 2016
  35. I’m so glad that they loved you and Osama!

    Liked by 1 person

    June 23, 2016
  36. Wow, I am glad they came around Lynn! What a wonderful gesture to go all the way there with a child and being pregnant. I can’t believe he hid you from them for so long.

    Liked by 1 person

    June 23, 2016
  37. This is so heart warming to know. It was a very bold decision on your part, must have taken a lot of effort and strength. Every family deserves a daughter in law like you. You’re an inspiration, dear one. God bless the family. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    June 24, 2016
  38. Good for you! Very brave, and very interesting that your mother in law stood by you πŸ™‚ X

    Liked by 1 person

    June 24, 2016
  39. You are amazing Lynn! This is a beautiful story! How could anyone not love you?

    Liked by 1 person

    June 25, 2016
  40. Who wouldn’t love you Lynn….your are a good woman and your glow happiness and peace….love the look of your blog….kat

    Liked by 1 person

    June 25, 2016
  41. This just shows dear Lynz when armed in love as you were then to make your family union complete, all things are possible. Plus it also shows those who have a perceptions before getting to know some one, should really get to know a person before labelling them . This in the end worked out as your Mother and Father-in-law accepted you for YOU.. And how in the end your Mother-in-law would support and help you and your children.
    Thank you for sharing that part of your story Lynz.. A remarkable journey you undertook, not knowing then how your life would take shape.

    Love and Blessings
    Sue xxx

    Like

    June 27, 2016
  42. That must not have been easy for you at all. Good for you! xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    June 28, 2016
  43. Wow. Please accept my bow here. You are SO brave Lynn. I cannot imagine a situation like that. Of course once they get to know you, loving you would be a cakewalk but your decision to be with them knowing of their non-acceptance is really admirable.

    Liked by 1 person

    June 28, 2016
  44. I’m glad you felt support from them. How brave you were to go there by yourself! And I’m glad you had their support through the difficulties, that’s good for your children to have too. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    July 18, 2016
  45. They recognized your truth. What a lot you have been through!

    Liked by 1 person

    July 20, 2016

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