Silence broken


Photo taken from my deck just before sunset


To my blogging friends- you know who you are! Each time you press like, comment and give me support, it opens my heart, mind and soul to a new reality. I have been blogging now for one year. Being able to share my story, to break the silence and the secrets, this has changed my life. I love you all and give you my sincere thanks for caring!

Love, Lynn

Escalation true life story



The small compound like villa where this story took place

I quickly wiped bits of sauce and broccoli from the marble floor, scrubbing away reminders from the day before. A trail of crust lay strewn in what appeared to be a pattern, tiny ants marked the trajectory and angle where the incident had occurred. Sponges and towels soaked in warm soapy water washed away a favorite meal but could not obliterate the stain of shame and humiliation. I worked in a swift but guarded fashion, hoping to finish before he resurfaced from his basement enclave to dissect and lay blame for what had transpired the day before. The kids remained in their rooms, uninterested in leaving except to eat and use the bathroom. I monitored the villa, patrolling the halls and rooms in an attempt to contain and isolate the rage.

The sound of his clicking ship ships (sandals) on the staircase startled me and sent the customary wave of panic through my boggled mind. I struggled to stand and straighten my back, shuffling into the kitchen to avoid any further discussion. As he rounded the corner I lowered my gaze hoping to fade back to the invisible fixture I had now become. He continued through the hall and out the large metal door. A small and momentary reprieve.  I stood in the kitchen scanning the room for any remnants that had been missed, hoping that wiping it away would erase what had happened. Foof entered the room and asked the usual question, “Is he gone?” I was too ashamed to look at her, but nodded a quick yes. In a household where the word Geez, shoot and darn were seen as profanity and any waste no matter how small was an unforgivable sin, the incident and escalation loomed heavy over the villa.

His plate slammed down hard on the table repeatedly, punctuated and in sync with his words.   The children stood wide eyed as his rant escalated and ended with chicken pot pie being thrown to the floor, his plate, fork and food scattered throughout the room.  He paced and marched, ranting, pounding and screaming. I rushed to shut windows, to explain and utter useless words and excuses. The rant ended with a warning, to never use the computer on this table. “Move this F***ING computer, if I ever see it here again I  will break it into a million F***ING pieces, do you hear me, a million F***ING pieces.”


Week in review

Hope everyone had a great week! In case you missed anything here was my week.

Love, Lynn







First visit to Damascus


Picture of Osama on our visit to see in-laws, 1988. I came across this picture recently and it brought back so many memories.

Osama was only 8 months old when I decided to travel to Damascus. I was 2 months pregnant with my second child and having horrible morning sickness. He did not tell his parents that he had married me or that we had a child. So, when Osama was a few months old he told his brother, who then informed the family. They were upset and furious and wanted nothing to do with us!

They told him they would never be happy about this decision and that was that. Being the stubborn person that I am in such issues, I insisted on traveling there and making them see that I was a good wife and mother. He dropped us off at the airport in Seattle and when he arrived home received a letter saying,  please do not send this lady she does not know the language or culture and it just won’t work! It was too late we were already on our way!  I spent 5 weeks with them. The night before I left my father-in-law sat with me and told me, “Um Osama (mother of Osama) we love you and accept you! I am glad I put in the effort and when tough times came my mother-in-law stood by the kids and I!