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The beginning part two

He was somehow different, respectful and calm, but I remembered the vow I had taken and shook my head when my sister gave me an inquiring and hopeful look.

 

I gently slid underneath his arm and rolled to the edge of the bed and onto the floor. An aimless stumble in the dark,  retrieving remnants of the night before, first my shirt and then my jeans. I wavered back and forth as the effects of alcohol still held tightly to my brain and had an impact on my balance, eventually falling into a heap on the apartment floor. He stirred and yawned as I composed myself and stood, pulling clothing into place, silently tip toeing out of the bedroom and into the living room of the college apartment, unit number 5. This clumsy dance was an attempt to escape the embarrassment of the night before that had abruptly ended in the answer no, followed by two figures intertwined in an infatuated jumble. I steadied myself and started to walk to the door when arms wrapped around my waist, kisses made their way from my neck to my lips. I smiled and edged closer to the wall as he encompassed me with his dark brown eyes, soft and warm, full of something hidden deep within. My vow to follow dreams and work on what had once inspired me, had fallen short when my sister and her friend set up a date for drinks, nothing more, nothing less. They were insistent and reminded me, he was a clean cut man, kind and trustworthy, it would be foolish to pass an opportunity that could lead to something good and true.

 

 

 

 

98 Comments Post a comment
  1. Little did they know…:(

    Liked by 1 person

    May 18, 2016
  2. ‘Beginnings’ can be so wonderful… ‘endings’…. not so much. I sometimes think it’s a good thing we don’t know what the future holds for us. You’ve been through so much & I know that all you’ve been through has made you the woman you are today. I think the same thing about myself – all the tough times have made me who I am… a much more empathetic woman who believes in her own strength!

    Liked by 3 people

    May 18, 2016
    • yes you are so so right!

      Like

      May 18, 2016
    • Cecile,
      I read what you wrote- but I sometimes feel the tough times have made me tough and perhaps not so sensitive as before- not so much a nice person as before, not so kind, and not so generous. If these tough times had not come to my life, I would have been someone different- someone with stars still in my eyes, seeing the world with rose-tinted glasses. I honesty could have done without the tough times in my life and wish the same for so many of the people who have gone through the tough.
      Susie

      Liked by 1 person

      May 18, 2016
      • Susieshy45 – thanks so much for taking the time to comment. I agree with you – and I want to say that I think how we deal with things following those tough times may lie within just how bad those ‘tough times’ were. I imagine you’ve gone through some seriously tough times… times which left you deeply hurt, and I have a feeling, abandoned. (That’s just a guess but I’m usually pretty good with my ‘guesses’) I can totally understand that things were so bad they changed you inside forever. And that’s a real shame. Often these ‘tough times’ befall us due to the actions of others. And hurts like that certainly scar us for life. I’m always amazed by Lynz’s resilience. I’m sure having all those kiddos made Lynz want to move forward in a way which gave her children a warm and loving life. But I’m sure she may sometimes have nightmares. Plus a good dose of PTSD.
        Again – thanks for taking the time to post your comment. And I can very easily see why what you went through changed your view of the world – and of life – forever.

        Liked by 2 people

        May 23, 2016
  3. Wow, very nice!

    Liked by 1 person

    May 18, 2016
  4. Our eyes are so blinded by love. Like Elaine said, “If they only knew.”

    Liked by 3 people

    May 18, 2016
  5. Wow so the beginning. Too bad real crystal balls were not invented

    Liked by 2 people

    May 18, 2016
  6. Night and day. Or deadly nightshade ….

    Liked by 4 people

    May 18, 2016
  7. good writing Lynn! So provocative. Are you doing ok? You mention above you are not up to writing….

    Liked by 2 people

    May 18, 2016
  8. It’s so easy to see how you were swept up, Lynn. It must have been so disorienting to have this charming man reveal himself as something else entirely. 😦

    Liked by 2 people

    May 18, 2016
    • Yes after 5 years it was a huge shock!

      Liked by 1 person

      May 18, 2016
    • Lynn,
      My wonder is how a person can have two faces or multiple faces. One that they show when they date and they have to be on their best and one that they show, once they have complete possession. After the marriage or contract, then it is as if a Dr. Hyde takes over. It just goes to show that women are still treated as a commodity in much of the world.
      Susie

      Like

      May 18, 2016
  9. Boy were they wrong except for all those beautiful and wonderful children.

    Liked by 1 person

    May 18, 2016
  10. Oh yes, it was what lay hidden deep that turned the brilliance dark.

    Liked by 1 person

    May 18, 2016
  11. Wow Lynn, your writing was perfect in telling the story of that time. How a moment in time can have such a different meaning so many years later. I appreciate you – have fun today with those new grandbabies! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    May 18, 2016
  12. Putting our heart out there at the prospect of something that might become wonderful is always a little scary and exciting.

    Liked by 1 person

    May 18, 2016
  13. Ah Lynn-only write when you can-I know it is not easy sometimes to do so…We are all behind you 100% always…I get it believe me I do!!! oxoxoxoxo Bestie 2

    Liked by 1 person

    May 18, 2016
  14. The temptations and folly of youth.
    Leslie

    Liked by 1 person

    May 18, 2016
  15. I hope you get yourself unstuck soon, Lynn! XOXOXO

    Liked by 1 person

    May 18, 2016
    • Thanks your so sweet! I feel lots better! Really just relaxing and not doing much. I usually run from dawn to nightfall! hahaha xoxoxoxo

      Liked by 1 person

      May 18, 2016
  16. The excitement and enchantment of the beginnings….. I’m just sorry it hid something much darker. It’s a shame for him, he will never change.

    Thankfully, you have new beginnings every day!

    Liked by 2 people

    May 18, 2016
  17. It began like a dream…. how should you know?

    Liked by 1 person

    May 18, 2016
  18. Many do not show their true selves, especially at the beginning. You were swept up in it all, Lynn. It happens all the time. 💕

    Liked by 2 people

    May 18, 2016
  19. I am thinking of a wolf in sheep’s clothing! You had no way of knowing Lynn…you were young, falling in love and you have a very kind heart!! big hugs 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    May 18, 2016
  20. It’s hard to read this when I know what happens later. But you are such an inspiring person, able to prevail despite so many hardships. Enjoy those new grandbabies. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    May 18, 2016
  21. Wow, little did you know what lay behind that clean cut , kind and trustworthy man. You followed your dreams and it led you down a rough road but it also led to your lovely children, and now you have grandbabies too! I love your writing, this could have been from a romance novel.

    Liked by 3 people

    May 18, 2016
    • Thanks so much, it’s hard to explain how it started but I can still feel it and kept hoping for that magical man to return! Thanks for reading!

      Liked by 2 people

      May 18, 2016
  22. Behind the warm brown eyes lied a monster in wait!!! Closing in on his prey…..come into my wen said the spider to the fly…..anyone can see why he was attracted to you, you were a beautiful, naïve young dove!!!! love the dog hiding in the curtains…LOL send you lots of hugs…xxkat

    Liked by 2 people

    May 18, 2016
  23. Hard to believe this story was even part of the equation. Amazing!

    Like

    May 18, 2016
  24. A recitation of what was . . . thanks for sharing.

    Like

    May 18, 2016
  25. Lynn,
    Never walk into that trap again. It must have been so difficult for you to write this post, particularly if you feared your children might read this. Keep courage my friend- you need to get it all out and only then the healing will start.
    Susie

    Like

    May 18, 2016
    • Thanks for commenting! The kids do not read, they say they lived it and wont read. They want me to write but do not want to read which I am happy for!

      Liked by 1 person

      May 20, 2016
      • Thank God for that !
        Everything works out well for those who go the righteous path. I am sure your paths will be straight from now on.
        Susie

        Like

        May 20, 2016
  26. The best as you got from this relationship were your wonderful kids Lynn 😀
    You couldn’t know, that he would turn into a monster, while he had you, where he wished to.
    Big hugs.

    Like

    May 18, 2016
  27. Excellent post Lynz. Candid and from the heart.

    Liked by 1 person

    May 19, 2016
  28. There had to have been something…..

    Liked by 1 person

    May 19, 2016
  29. How could you have known? 😦

    Liked by 1 person

    May 19, 2016
  30. Why did your sisters think this guy was any good….. because he was a clever monster … I hope they see him for what he is now. Hugs and love xxxxx

    Liked by 2 people

    May 19, 2016
  31. If only that were true….

    Liked by 1 person

    May 19, 2016
  32. Hindsight is a terrible thing…

    Like

    May 19, 2016
  33. Many snakes are beautiful and charming.

    Liked by 1 person

    May 19, 2016
  34. I wonder… Is it even more difficult to write about the good times? It’s easier when people can be boxed up as black or white and harder to admit to loving, or even being loved by, a bad person.
    You are doing a great job. Go easy on yourself. X

    Liked by 1 person

    May 20, 2016
    • Thanks! I am just jumping around doing what feels ok. It is hard but it seemed like a different person I was writing about, a different life. Thanks so much xxx

      Liked by 1 person

      May 20, 2016
      • I’m new at this too but I do think that what feels like the right thing to write IS the right thing. I wish I had a fraction of your courage, Lynn. You are an inspiration. I mean that genuinely.

        Liked by 1 person

        May 21, 2016
        • You are so kind and supportive! Its hard you see that it has effected your kids, their self esteem and their lives, that is the worst part xxx

          Like

          May 21, 2016
  35. He picked his disguise wisely…the wolf is now in the hen house.

    Liked by 1 person

    May 23, 2016

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