The beginning part two

He was somehow different, respectful and calm, but I remembered the vow I had taken and shook my head when my sister gave me an inquiring and hopeful look.


I gently slid underneath his arm and rolled to the edge of the bed and onto the floor. An aimless stumble in the dark,  retrieving remnants of the night before, first my shirt and then my jeans. I wavered back and forth as the effects of alcohol still held tightly to my brain and had an impact on my balance, eventually falling into a heap on the apartment floor. He stirred and yawned as I composed myself and stood, pulling clothing into place, silently tip toeing out of the bedroom and into the living room of the college apartment, unit number 5. This clumsy dance was an attempt to escape the embarrassment of the night before that had abruptly ended in the answer no, followed by two figures intertwined in an infatuated jumble. I steadied myself and started to walk to the door when arms wrapped around my waist, kisses made their way from my neck to my lips. I smiled and edged closer to the wall as he encompassed me with his dark brown eyes, soft and warm, full of something hidden deep within. My vow to follow dreams and work on what had once inspired me, had fallen short when my sister and her friend set up a date for drinks, nothing more, nothing less. They were insistent and reminded me, he was a clean cut man, kind and trustworthy, it would be foolish to pass an opportunity that could lead to something good and true.





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98 thoughts on “The beginning part two

  1. ‘Beginnings’ can be so wonderful… ‘endings’…. not so much. I sometimes think it’s a good thing we don’t know what the future holds for us. You’ve been through so much & I know that all you’ve been through has made you the woman you are today. I think the same thing about myself – all the tough times have made me who I am… a much more empathetic woman who believes in her own strength!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Cecile,
      I read what you wrote- but I sometimes feel the tough times have made me tough and perhaps not so sensitive as before- not so much a nice person as before, not so kind, and not so generous. If these tough times had not come to my life, I would have been someone different- someone with stars still in my eyes, seeing the world with rose-tinted glasses. I honesty could have done without the tough times in my life and wish the same for so many of the people who have gone through the tough.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Susieshy45 – thanks so much for taking the time to comment. I agree with you – and I want to say that I think how we deal with things following those tough times may lie within just how bad those ‘tough times’ were. I imagine you’ve gone through some seriously tough times… times which left you deeply hurt, and I have a feeling, abandoned. (That’s just a guess but I’m usually pretty good with my ‘guesses’) I can totally understand that things were so bad they changed you inside forever. And that’s a real shame. Often these ‘tough times’ befall us due to the actions of others. And hurts like that certainly scar us for life. I’m always amazed by Lynz’s resilience. I’m sure having all those kiddos made Lynz want to move forward in a way which gave her children a warm and loving life. But I’m sure she may sometimes have nightmares. Plus a good dose of PTSD.
        Again – thanks for taking the time to post your comment. And I can very easily see why what you went through changed your view of the world – and of life – forever.

        Liked by 2 people

    1. Lynn,
      My wonder is how a person can have two faces or multiple faces. One that they show when they date and they have to be on their best and one that they show, once they have complete possession. After the marriage or contract, then it is as if a Dr. Hyde takes over. It just goes to show that women are still treated as a commodity in much of the world.


  2. Wow Lynn, your writing was perfect in telling the story of that time. How a moment in time can have such a different meaning so many years later. I appreciate you – have fun today with those new grandbabies! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Wow, little did you know what lay behind that clean cut , kind and trustworthy man. You followed your dreams and it led you down a rough road but it also led to your lovely children, and now you have grandbabies too! I love your writing, this could have been from a romance novel.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Behind the warm brown eyes lied a monster in wait!!! Closing in on his prey…..come into my wen said the spider to the fly…..anyone can see why he was attracted to you, you were a beautiful, naïve young dove!!!! love the dog hiding in the curtains…LOL send you lots of hugs…xxkat

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Lynn,
    Never walk into that trap again. It must have been so difficult for you to write this post, particularly if you feared your children might read this. Keep courage my friend- you need to get it all out and only then the healing will start.


  6. The best as you got from this relationship were your wonderful kids Lynn 😀
    You couldn’t know, that he would turn into a monster, while he had you, where he wished to.
    Big hugs.


  7. I wonder… Is it even more difficult to write about the good times? It’s easier when people can be boxed up as black or white and harder to admit to loving, or even being loved by, a bad person.
    You are doing a great job. Go easy on yourself. X

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m new at this too but I do think that what feels like the right thing to write IS the right thing. I wish I had a fraction of your courage, Lynn. You are an inspiration. I mean that genuinely.

        Liked by 1 person

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