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A Book? The escape-chapter one

There are so many dear friends that I have found here in this blogging world! So many of you have encouraged me to keep writing and to write a book. I am really considering this! It is hard when you are not someone who has practiced writing, the specific skills. But, I might just put together many of these short stories into a book of sorts. So, the following piece is a rough draft of something that I might start with, the last day in Saudi! If you have time and want to read the last day here it is!  Thanks for the support!!!

Thanks to my dear friend Cheryl for suggesting the title for this story-love ya

Cheryl “Cheffie Cooks” Wiser

Love Lynn

 

We stood waiting to leave the villa, bags packed, stacked on the marble floor, the same floor that only months before had offered hope for a new beginning, a move to Al-Khobar. Promises made on my part to quit being “ridiculous and making things up, imaging trouble”. Promises on his part to be more attentive and  patient with my “episodes” of emotion. The echoes of a past life were heard with each sound the children made as we stood, waiting. The past year had brought new pain to an already restricted  life, kitchen implements, chairs and plates were thrown, computer confiscated and searched, woken up every hour and threatened with extrication from my home. I was no longer allowed to sit and eat at the family table, but relegated to doing dishes and being invisible. I had been called a liar, cheater and a thief, the cycle had now spun out of control and although it seemed absurd in the forefront of my mind, I started leaving a laundry basket by my door to be made aware of his possible entry to my room. I spent most waking hours while he was at home, lying on my bed,  feigning sleep, a silent and frozen sleep, hoping to detract his anger and hatred, hoping he would forget my very existence. He was off at the camp during weekdays, a blessing, and a curse with no way to get out into the real world of Saudi Arabia. Saleeha and I finally dared to venture out to the streets of Al-Khobar, each time taking precautionary measures if he happened to call the villa. Daily life had now turned into basic existence and survival. My job was clear, to hold off what had once been anger but now had grown into a blazing rage.

He had warned me since I sent my oldest sons away to University, not to ever think that I could leave or take one child of his any where. A wicked and sinister chuckle followed his words as he reached for me and held me tight, in a hugging fashion. I stood in the “room” trying to smile, devising methods to hold back the tears that infuriated him. There we stood looking at the bags for our trip to the United States, it had been a tentative action that finally appeared to be a reality. He would accompany us to see my son graduate, and had spoken in recent days of coming back to retrieve us at the end of summer. Each day a sullen look crossed his face as we packed and stacked the bags. The girls had put together treasures they did not want to leave behind, off to the post office and secretly sent to my mother and father’s house, never to arrive. I had no plans of staying or leaving, just an instinct that told me to run and not look back. Special items had been packed into the bags, little things from mom and dad as they traveled to Sweden, France and Italy. Simple things that had no place in an empty home, but that would surely signal we were not coming back. Paranoia had taken over and anything I said was dissected and discussed for hours with no conclusion.  I stood looking at the suitcases, wondering if we would really be allowed to make this trip. Several times he leaned down and opened a zipper only to stand and keep up his agitated pace. My heart seemed to skip and race, the clicking of his feet on the bare marble floor. What would I say and what would happen if he found items that did not belong. I had become adept at the game of hiding and making excuses for purchases, words or movements. Being asked to remove all items from the cupboards and produce the grocery receipt had become the norm. Asking the girls to show him what was in their hand as they walked up the stairs, only to produce a small pink packet enclosing a much needed kotex. This paranoia had been mounting  for years and accusations seemed to turn into reality, leaving. A hidden cup of coffee, a can of root beer and finally packed bags signaling a hopeful trip.  I felt I could barely stand another minute when he announced we would leave for the airport. I watched nervously as the bags were pulled and loaded into the trunk.  He asked why we would need so many bags for a summer visit, why we had packed them so secretly and why I was unusually quiet. He looked at me one last time as he shut the door and drove down the street and onto the freeway. My hands shook as they had for months, I shoved my arm under my buttocks to keep it secure and freed from it’s frenzied movements. What if security opened our bags, what if they took things out, what if we piled back into the car and returned home.  He sped faster weaving in and out of traffic, finally we were there, the first step to freedom.

333 Comments Post a comment
  1. I am so excited that you have finally jumped into the water! You’ve got the bones of a good story already in your many posts about your life with him. This is a great place to start, with the leaving. I was a little confused, was he scheduled to go with you or was he actually dropping you & kids off for a “summer” visit while he stayed and worked?

    Just don’t worry about details. You’ve got a distinctive voice, you write well, and the important thing is to get it all down on paper. You can rearrange, cut, add, embellish later. And remember, even the Stephen Kings of the world rewrite and use editors to polish the final product. But they all need to get it down first and that is the hard part. Don’t lose your energy or submit to fear. You’ve got a great thing going. Just look at all the people that hang on your every word on this blog! Yeah!!!!

    Liked by 3 people

    February 18, 2016
    • thanks so much! I will keep going and yes that is the hard part for me, not being used to writing it is a big task. I think it is doable if I just keep writing these stories and having your input! Thanks so much!!!!

      Liked by 2 people

      February 18, 2016
  2. You write very well Lynz. You could take your blog post and put together a book. Your story is very intresting and will attract many readers.

    Liked by 2 people

    February 18, 2016
  3. Go for it, Lynz! You write very well! Very interesting story 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    February 18, 2016
  4. You should definitely write a book I’ve missed some posts and would love to read the full story. You are a gifted writer!

    Liked by 2 people

    February 18, 2016
    • Thanks so much. I have trouble getting to your blog, so glad you commented so I can try to pop over through this comment!

      Like

      February 18, 2016
  5. Wow! This is very powerful writing! You should 100% write a book. Your story will help others. You are so amazing. I can’t wait to read this book!

    Liked by 3 people

    February 18, 2016
  6. Oh Lynn, you don’t need to be used to writing. It seems to come naturally for you. Your start above is perfect, and riveting. Keep going, you’re doing great!

    Liked by 2 people

    February 18, 2016
  7. This is great writing, Lynn. As a reader, I’m invested and can’t wait to find out what happens next. You have such a good story, just keep writing it all down! I love your idea for a book, and I think you have mentioned before possibly a book of your recipes and your story combined. I think it’s a great idea!

    Liked by 3 people

    February 18, 2016
  8. Marissa #

    Such a compelling story! Lynn you are truly a gifted writer. Your word choice enables the reader to live this story with you. I can hardly wait for the next entry. Were you able to confide to anyone? Did you have to make your land to escape alone or with the help of your children?

    Liked by 1 person

    February 18, 2016
    • I didn’t confide in anyone and wasn’t sure if we would stay once we made it home. I just could not stand it any more under those circumstances! I was a wreck and just needed to be safe. The older girls knew how bad it was and Fattima told me no way would she ever go back! It was bad but still I couldn’t really think of leaving or staying. So it was just kind of a survival move in the end!

      Liked by 2 people

      February 18, 2016
      • Share your story , Lynn- maybe someone somewhere will benefit from it. You need to write.
        Susie

        Liked by 2 people

        February 23, 2016
  9. This is thrilling, Lynn! I hope you decide to write a book.

    Liked by 1 person

    February 18, 2016
  10. I am so excited for you! Love your writing!

    Liked by 1 person

    February 18, 2016
  11. This is a great beginning for your book! I’m waiting on the edge of my seat to find out what happens next!!! Keep going! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    February 18, 2016
  12. skd #

    This is flawless writing Lynz. You have a flair to keep the readers captivated and emotional. It is very sad that you had to go through all this.

    Liked by 1 person

    February 18, 2016
  13. My heart was literally pounding. There is no doubt that you have a book in you. I’ve seen good reviews of a book called The Art Of Memoir but it’s a bit expensive. Also, I follow a blog called WOW (women on writing) that’s really good. I’ll look up a link later.
    I think you have the instincts of a storyteller and probably just need a sympathetic editor. I’ve no idea how one finds an editor!
    Write it and they will read.

    Liked by 3 people

    February 19, 2016
  14. Gosh.. I have always wanted to know about your last day at Saudi. I could almost feel your palpitation in my heart as I kept reading through. Hugs dear Lynn.

    Liked by 3 people

    February 19, 2016
  15. Wonderful Lynn! You write very well. Stay with this. ‘o)

    Liked by 1 person

    February 19, 2016
  16. Wow I cant wait to read the next chapter. WOnderful writing, and must say you are one brave woman!

    Liked by 1 person

    February 19, 2016
  17. JC #

    You definitely need to write this book. You had me in suspense and this just the first chapter.

    Liked by 1 person

    February 19, 2016
  18. Keep going…it is a great story and will make a wonderful book. (K)

    Liked by 1 person

    February 19, 2016
  19. Lynn, I would be happy to buy your book as well as copy for my sister, sister in law, mother in law etc..I have counted ten at least (not joking) Whenever it and you are ready. Always here for you for some support and hugs. And I just have to add, you do have writing skills. Your stories always touch me, usually right in my gut. Hugs and love to you 💖

    Liked by 3 people

    February 19, 2016
    • Thanks so much for taking the time out of your busy day to read and to comment! You are so kind offering that amazing support! I will keep trying and hoping to put it all together and just do it! xoxo

      Liked by 2 people

      February 19, 2016
  20. That’s a great idea, Lynn. It’s the best thing I’ve heard! Just keep writing, it will turn out great! I’m here to help If you need anything.

    Liked by 1 person

    February 19, 2016
  21. This is a rivetting read from the first sentence. YOU MUST KEEP WRITING. As rangewriter says, you have a distinctive voice, and you do write very well. I agree, too, getting out a first draft is the way to go. I also agree that starting with the escape is very dramatic- the tension, your extreme anxiety as to whether you will manage to leave whets our appetite to know precisely what you were escaping from.

    Liked by 2 people

    February 19, 2016
    • Thanks Tish that is so nice of you to come past and to comment! I will keep trying! I have all of my memoirs and I think I can build on them as many people have suggested, otherwise a book sounds very daunting!

      Liked by 2 people

      February 19, 2016
  22. You have my vote! You write very well and your story is certainly novel worthy! Just take it one step at a time and it won’t be so overwhelming.

    Liked by 1 person

    February 19, 2016
  23. Wonderfully well written beginning to your book. Your restraint gives it power like a tsunami ready to strike. Anyone reading this would want more.

    Liked by 1 person

    February 19, 2016
  24. I’m hooked…so keep the story going.

    Liked by 1 person

    February 19, 2016
  25. I read this with my heart in my throat, even though I knew how it was going to end. That’s the mark of a really good writer! You definitely need to write the book. You can do this!

    Liked by 1 person

    February 19, 2016
  26. This makes me want to read on. Lyn, you have the ability to write. Try not to be put off by your perceived lack of skills. The story is king.

    Liked by 1 person

    February 19, 2016
  27. Anita Kushwaha #

    Lynn! I’m sorry for getting to this late, I must have missed it when you first published on Thursday. This is an electric start to your memoir, absolutely brilliant. I’m thrilled that your undertaking the book. I must say, every since I came across your blog months ago, it always whispered “book” to me, as it clearly has to countless others. You have great skill and talent as a writer, especially your ability to cut to the emotional center of a scene and makes us feel as readers. I’m looking forward to reading more! Congratulations! Ah! 🙂 XO

    Liked by 2 people

    February 21, 2016
  28. Lynn, there was someone with you throughout your courageous journey and He is there for you still. Hold on , my friend.
    Would you consider marrying again ( forgive me if it is too private a question)- I think what you need is a good, strong man to give “him” a good bash-up if required. ( sorry)
    Susie

    Liked by 1 person

    February 23, 2016
    • well I am still legally married to him and I don’t know when that will change! I am just trying to make my way through life and take care of my kids. I did not have contact with men for maybe 25 years, it was a big no no, so for me it is harder to relate to men other than my sons and my dad! Thanks Susie!

      Liked by 2 people

      February 23, 2016
  29. I so agree with all of the above! You have the makings of a great memoir – all the ingredients are there: conflict, emotion, a very interesting setting. Go for it, we are all behind you. And we will be your first customers. Xx Marina

    Liked by 2 people

    February 27, 2016
  30. Lynn, I think your book would be riveting. I enthusiastically support this endeavor. I am very touched by your stories, and by all that you and your family have been through. You are a very strong woman.

    Liked by 1 person

    February 27, 2016
  31. After reading – I had to breathe.

    Liked by 1 person

    February 28, 2016
  32. Wonderful first chapter Lynn. Leaves me wanting more!!! Yes dear, you must write this book.

    Liked by 1 person

    March 1, 2016
  33. Look at these comments, Lynn. How can you not write your story, now? (I’m proud of you for breaking free. And for setting your children free in the process.) Love, Clare

    Liked by 1 person

    March 7, 2016
  34. I WANT to read this book.

    Liked by 1 person

    April 26, 2016
  35. oh my, I was very nervous reading this!

    Liked by 1 person

    May 10, 2016

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